Saturday, October 15, 2011

Page by Page


I like to imagine the people at Amazon and Netflix hovering over my orders of the past eight weeks and nodding their heads in understanding, maybe even throwing in a few books and videos they think would help in some sort of care package for me.

What I really want to do is to throw myself fully, deeply into a novel that will transport me to another world. I've tried to dive into long novels, but right now there are just too many water bugs on the surface of the pond pestering me for attention. My ability to concentrate has been severely diminished, but I have discovered that self-help book editors understand this. Most of the chapters are about two or three pages long. That I can handle.

Doped up on recent viewings of The Shift by Wayne Dyer and You Can Heal Your Life, I found myself doing much better in my day-to-day life. Some sections of the books I have stacked up there have spoken to me right now. Others will mean more to me later.

During the first week or so after HOB left, I ordered the Power Thought Cards. I pulled the first one out and nearly vomited.

It read:

"I ask for more understanding so I may knowingly and lovingly shape my world and my experiences."


At that time, I thought I could never do that.

But just yesterday, I look at that same card, smiled and nodded my head.

I can see the possibility of getting to that stage of thinking--and maybe sooner than I ever thought.

I am beginning to look up and see lots of possibilities, all around me.

It just might be time for me to start turning some pages and find out what's going to happen in the next chapter of my life.

The world's a pretty exciting place, isn't it?




44 comments:

Teresa Evangeline said...

Indeed it is, dear girl. Your words gave me goosebumps of understanding. What a fine place you're in....

Elizabeth Grimes said...

Just knowing that you're not alone in feeling a certain way can be a great comfort.

ellen abbott said...

Once you get past the loss, the future unfolds like a flower. Yes, it is a beautiful and exciting world.

Daisy said...

The best part is, you are the author of those future pages in your life, Betty. You get to choose how you want to fill those pages yourself. :)

I hope you enjoy your weekend!

Eloise said...

Ahh, the power of books. My friends always said they could trace my life by looking at my bookshelf. Sometimes you have to wade through some pretty shallow ones, but oh, when you find a gem, it can bring you to tears just knowing your feelings are valid and have been felt by others who have allowed themselves to feel and move on to new stages of their lives with greater knowledge, empathy and understanding. For some pre-Amazon experiences, read Shelf Life by Suzanne Strempek Shea-it's a really good read and will make you laugh.

Siv Maria said...

Keep that attitude and your favorite treat handy for comfort and you will do just fine!

Gigi said...

Oh Betty, the world IS an exciting place.

I'm glad you are looking forward!

Eva Gallant said...

Good for you, girl! Now go out and conquer the world. I have no doubt that you are capable!

Tabor said...

These books seem to be helping you to sort and collect and toss all the chaotic thoughts in your mind. Living in a new way take practice, just like exercise builds muscle, this will build your resilience and sharpen your senses. You have turned a large corner here and are seeing a whole new set of paths. Did you ever read Eat, Pray, Love? It is an easy read and takes you around the world.

Ali said...

I love the definite optimism I'm seeing today... :)

Brian said...

I just know the coming chapters of your life will be the best part of your story, I just know it!

Old Kitty said...

Awww BB!! You keep turning those pages, moving to the next chapter and picking those cards!!! Good for you!! Take care
x

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Betty, now you are ready!

Green Monkey said...

YES!!!!! oh Betty, I love watching you get stronger. Here is another book that is really helping me (yep, me, the woman who doesn't read, recommending a book) THE SEDONA METHOD. I is teaching me to honor my feelings and then release them (if I chose to do so). If nothing else, it helps me on those sleepless nights - when everything is gloom and doom. I focus on the worry, then release it, and then its morning, and I wake feeling refreshed. I love everything about you Betty. Especially the way you deal with your pain.

Peggy K said...

Oh, Betty, I feel all giggly for you. Big A$$ Grin on my face!!!!

Bob Bushell said...

It's what you're waiting for.

Out on the prairie said...

Nice to see things smoothing out, as you have found you aren't the only one who has done this.

Marg said...

That attitude will get you into so many places and you will reach happiness again in a different way. That is such good thinking on your part. Hope you have a super week end. Take care.

welcome to my world of poetry said...

I read some very good self help books (1) I can make you confident and How to mend a broken heart both by Paul McKenna. They b oth come with a cd.
Have a wonderful week-end,
Yvonne.

Katherines Corner said...

Keep moving forward sweetie. Hugs and sincere wishes for a beautiful weekend xo

Linda Myers said...

I had a similar stack of books. As bad as I felt, it was of some comfort to know I wasn't alone in my experience - why else would there be so many books available?

You're right where you're supposed to be, sucky as that sounds. And it does get much better.

floweringmama said...

Betty,
You sound so strong. You aren't alone.

Anne Gallagher said...

Yay! You're starting to feel better. Like death, a bad break-up will leave you reeling. I'm so glad you're finally beginning to see the light of a future life instead of wallowing in the past. Go you! It's an uphill climb but I know you have those groovy walking sticks (and the love and support of your friends and family) to help you. I'm so proud of you.

Laura Eno said...

Yes, it is a beautiful world! You've made great strides. I see certain changes you've made on your blog that show your forward progression. :)

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I'm a big Wayne Dyer fan and read Your Erroneous Zones (sounds kind of sexual, huh?) as a kid. I love a good power card sometimes, vomit other times.
Love to you,
xoRobyn

Ms. A said...

Oh, Betty, it sounds as if you might be turning a corner and seeing a new road to travel!

The new header is appropriate, too! Compressed packaging, making way for the new stock!

Leah J. Utas said...

You sound positive. Yay!

Velvet Over Steel said...

I have a Hugh collection of self-help books, card sets and both motivational and relaxation cd's. TONS! I know in my case of so much change and uncountable hurts, the one thing that I finally tried and worked right away, so self-hypnosis type relaxation cd's and mp3 downloads. (from amazon of course :-) One my favorite's is 'Overcoming Obstacles' by Melissa Rose. Also, to keep your energy UP, play vibrational upbeat music; even lightly in the back group while you work or do other things. It will keep your energy up. :-) I found some channels on Pandora Radio. Then found a cd on Amazon with 100 of this type of theme music.

I'm so glad that you are 'taking action' to 'overcome' your obstacles, Betty. You're my inspiration and Hero!!!

Love ya,
Coreen XO

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I'm excited to hear you're excited about the world again.

Ann said...

It sure is Betty. That one door in your life may have closed but another one has opened and you are walking right through it. You go girl :)

Madi and Mom said...

BB,
Bless your heart you have shoveled all the horse manure HOB left out of your way and are discovering that you are WOMAN and you are the bravest one I know!!!
Hugs C

Joyful said...

It's great to see you reading and learning and growing. It takes time but you are doing so well!! Thanks for visiting my blog recently. Hugs. xx

Pat Tillett said...

You have a great attitude and I'm SO DARN HAPPY to see you moving forward.
Like the new header pic also...

Linda said...

Good girl, BB. Soon you'll be writing a book of your own. It has occurred to me that, although HOB has left you, he's the one who is alone.

Pat said...

Yahoo! Do you hear me clapping real hard for you here?

ladydazy said...

Time helps ease the pain. I'm so happy for you!!

jenny_o said...

Woo-hoo! Set your sights high!

Carnival Girl said...

The world is, indeed, a very wonderful and amazing and always surprising place, dear Betty, and you are most certainly destined for great things within it. It really makes my day to read you smiling again. Love you, K.

Catherine said...

Growing in confidence and strength... it's a beautiful thing!

Big hugs to you!
xo Catherine

SueAnn said...

Yes it is sweet Betty! Life is thrilling! You have so much to look forward too!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Leanne said...

Dr. Dyer has helped me a number of times. I love that man. And the power thought cards? They are now on my Amazon wish list, thank you very much.

My heart is so full for you right now, Betty. Yes, I see great great things on the horizon for my Betty friend. How about a book of short stories and book tour for our Bossy Babe? I'll be your groupie!

scrapwordsmom said...

Awesome books you are reading. I have several of them!! Good for you! You are not just feeling sorry for yourself...you are realizing that you are indeed a very capable human being and you are amazing and YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!

Baby Sister said...

I'm so happy for you. You have come such a long way. The world can be exciting when you let it be. Good for you Betty, good for you. *hugs*

The Empress said...

This post here is exactly why I know you will rise, like a Phoenix, you will rise...