Friday, September 9, 2011

Betty's Back. Just Barely and Pretty Battered and Bruised.


Hope you are all still there.

I am.

But just barely.

Here are the facts:


Three weeks after our oldest son moved across the country...

Twelve days after a lovely anniversary dinner, complete with affection-filled card...

One week after we dropped off our youngest son at college...

One day after our fourth trip to a marriage counselor...

A few minutes after a normal Friday night that included dinner, a walk, and a movie...

My husband of thirty years sat on the couch next to me and told me he wanted a divorce.

Not a separation.

A divorce.

He already had his things packed up in the car ready to go.

He wanted to be free.

Just like that. He had decided.


He took off his wedding ring the next day. He moved into an apartment in a nearby town but will not tell me the location.

Apparently, he had been thinking about this for a long time, so he is in a very different emotional place than I am.

Me? I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach. My emotions are like a Super Ball set loose in a closet.

Being married, being with HOB, was such a big part of my identity.

When I thought about my future, it was with him.

Now, I have to deal with the death of that blueprint of the future I had.


Just about a month ago, this house was filled with Sonny Boy and his girlfriend, with Evan and his friends, with HOB. It was filled with life.

And now it is just me.


I don't want to be divorced.

I don't want to be alone.

I don't want any of this.


I want to be sensitive to the emotions of my sons and I want them to have a good relationship with their dad, so I will never bash HOB or bad-mouth him. He did what he had to do, I suppose.

HOB is not a bad man.

He is not an evil man.

He is a confused man who is right smack-dab in the middle of a Midlife Crisis.

However, I do need to speak my truth and right now I am hurting in ways I didn't know I could hurt.


So, my blogging buddies, I am taking a deep breath here and trying to get back into blogging amidst the swirling remnants of my former life. I have had some very dark days, but I also have wonderful friends who are helping me out along the way.

I want my blog to be a place where I can practice being normal again.

I ask your indulgence as I try to find my way back into life. I may just post a picture some days. I may have a heavy post one day and then a goofy one the next day. Please understand. I am just looking for some pieces of my old life that I can still recognize--that I can pick up and salvage.

I know I can't have my old life back, but I need to know that I haven't totally lost myself along the way.

I am just trying to find my way out of this storm.

106 comments:

Shelly said...

((((Betty)))). My thoughts and prayers are with you. From what I've read in your blog, you are a strong woman. I know that strength will serve you well in the coming days and months.

Brian said...

I am so very sorry to hear what you are going through. I know it doesn't help, but we all send you great big hugs from all of us here. Keep typing, we're here with you.

Larri @ Seams Inspired said...

We'll read whatever you want to post, dear Betty. I'm so sorry your life has been shaken to its core. (((HUGS))) and prayers for you, sweet bloggy friend.

Psalm 121
Phillipians 4:13
Jeremiah 29:11

TS Hendrik said...

I am so sorry to hear about this. I will keep you in my prayers. And know that we in the blogging world will be here to hear what you have to say and do our best to offer what strength we can for you to lean on.

Cool Gal said...

BIG HUG, Betty.

I am so sorry. We (blogger friends) will all be here to offer any kind of support you need during this difficult time.

Life can be so challenging. I know you will overcome this challenge with grace. You are a very strong woman who has so much to offer.

I look forward to your posts.

Thinking of you, my friend!

Miriam said...

Please don't worry about what we might need or expect from you and your blog - instead think of what we, who have loved reading what you write and laughed and cried with you, can do for you at this tough, tough time. Big, gentle hugs to you.

Kitty said...

Type when you can. Forget everything when you need to. You are always loved.

blueviolet said...

Oh how I feel for you. I'm not even out of that storm myself, and I so remember how the weight of the pain is suffocating. I am so terribly sorry your world has been rocked this way. You write whatever you need to write.

Madi and Mom said...

BB,
I am speechless, heartbroken for you and I wish I could give you a big hug and some good advice....
I'm just so sorry he picked a time when both of your children had just left leaving you there alone....God bless you and your circle of friends.
Hugs
C

E.R. King said...

My heart is aching for you. I pray you will have the strength to deal with this. My thoughts are with you!

MomQueenBee said...

Do what you can, when you can, and know we are thinking of you in this anguish.

Flartus said...

Oh Betty, I am so, so sorry to hear this. You may not feel it, but the fact you are reaching out here to find "normalcy" tells me you are very strong.

We'll be here for you, whatever you want to say. Hugs.

Teresa Evangeline said...

Oh, Betty, I'm heartbroken for you. Just sick. I know how divorce feels. It's as though you're grieving a death, but no one has died. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but the day will come, and perhaps sooner than you think, in which you will see the rest of your life spooling out before you full of new possibilities. And all of them good.

My best thoughts and prayers are with you.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Betty .. what a few weeks and I do so feel for you .. take care, find comfort where you can, I think you've probably expressed it all so well here .. find a few protective souls who will help you through the next few weeks at least. We're here too for normalcy in blogland .. with many thoughts - Hilary

Creepy Query Girl said...

wow, I'm so sorry you're going through this. You probably won't feel 'alright' or like the world makes sense again for some time. Stay strong. Take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who love you.

GreatGranny said...

I'm speechless and all I can say is that we'll be here for you. I hope you can find peace in this storm.
You're a strong lady and will find yourself again.

Bethany said...

That sucks. No sugar coating. I'm so sorry. But do keep coming back because there's a lot of people here who love you!!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I'm so sorry Betty, I wish I had some magic words to make you feel better but I don't. Just the usual cliches about how it takes a lot of time and patience and heartache but that in the end you will be fine and your life will be wonderful again. But that's no consolation to you right NOW.

Let it all out. I mean you have a blog for a reason, right? Good luck!

The Time Sculptor said...

I came across your blog while feeling very sorry for myself, and reading what has happened to you, in the very moving words you used, has made me snap out of it.
I can only imagine what emptiness greets you as you wake each morning but your sharing it here will, I'm sure, be a great solace to you as time passes.
I do hope your naturally happy spirit will see you through these bleak days... to the better life beyond them.
Take Care, Jane Gray

Joyful said...

Dear Betty, I am so sorry. There are no words I can say that would make it better. But I do hope you will find your way again. Take time and breathe and feel. I hope the blog will help you remember who you are and that you will indeed become "normal" once again. Peace and love.

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Oh Betty I am so sorry about the divorce, of course you don't want to be alone, of course you want the person you love to love you. All these feelings are normal, losing someone is awful, I lost mine through death which in some ways better as thats final whereas yours is still alive.
I will be thinking of you and prayers will be said.
What can one say?
Take care there is always someone on Blogsphere.

Yvonne.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Betty, I am so sorry! I feel devastated for you.
Whatever you want to blog about, talk about here, is fine by me. I will always visit.
And I'll be praying for you.

Laura said...

Betty, I guess I'm a little behind in reading and I can't really say anything different than what's already been said...
Please take care of YOU, do what you need to do for YOU, blog your feelings since they will change day to day. We'll all be here for you no matter what.
And I send you multiple hugs for whenever you need one.

Retired English Teacher said...

I'm standing with you Betty. Been there. Done that. You will make it. You will come through this stronger than ever. Sending love and compassion your way.

SanDAndy said...

Man that is bad. My head would be spinning. Hang in there and know there are people who care.

Mommy on the Spot said...

I am so sorry to hear this! Sending positive thoughts your way.

Laura Eno said...

Hugs to you. The suddenness is the most brutal part of it. We're all here for you as you pick up the pieces and forge an even stronger path for you to follow.

scrapwordsmom said...

Oh, Betty I am so very sorry. I am so sad reading this. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. So much loss all at once.

If I remember right you and I live about a hour and and half apart right? If you need me...I can meet you somewhere and be a shoulder to cry on. We can chat, have dinner...whatever.

BIG HUGS!

Love,
Leslie

Out on the prairie said...

A tough situation, but it does eventually heal.

Noelle said...

Baby Sister and I both cried when we read your blog this morning.

I have nothing to say that will make you feel better but know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers for as long as it takes.

A Tale of Two Cities said...

I'm feeling pretty sick for you right now--wish I could take away your pain. May you find the strength to reinvent a new normal in the days to come--one that will find you smiling again soon.

Jayne said...

Oh, Betty, I'm so sorry to hear this. It is real kick-in-the-stomach-pain and you deserve every indulgence right now.

Take it. Take it all. Heal. Here, there, anywhere you can. We're here for you.

Mary Ann Tate said...

Oh Betty...I wondered where you were. It's very important that you take care of yourself and try to keep your perspective as you are a very wonderful person. We will all be here to listen to what you have to say:) You have a lot of friends who care about you.

Sara said...

Oh, Betty.

I'm teary-eyed here, just thinking of how constricted and raw your insides are feeling right now. Know that I'm sending you love from all the way over here in Georgia ♥

Miriam in KS said...

Love, hugs, and prayers. I'm holding all of you close today.

Eva Gallant said...

Betty, I am so sorry. I went through divorce after 12 years of marriage, so I can't imagine the pain of going through it after 30 years! Hugs to you. Be strong.

Tabor said...

I did not read any of the comments from your many and loyal readers. You are in a very deep and dark place, but you write with the vision of a survivor. It will take time for the painful wounds to heal, but from this post you are still in a healthy place. Your next new life is beginning even though you have not been able to see. Take care, we all admire you.

Old Kitty said...

BB! Oh my stars. What?!?!?! BB - come here you gorgeous woman, sit down, have a cup of tea and a biscuit and feel free to just talk, talk, talk. You need to talk - anything. Big big hugs from me to you. You are not alone. You are surrounded by a lot of love and support.

Take care
x

Joan said...

I am so very sorry. =*(

We are here... We are here...

Carnival Girl said...

Betty, dear Betty, stay strong and hold your head up, stand up straight like the beautiful Kansas sunflower I know you to be. Those roots will not fail you, so reach for them now and hold on. Even this dark storm will pass, but meanwhile, shelter your sorrow within the embrace of we who love you best. KL

Gigi said...

Oh Betty! My heart hurts for you. I know you are in pain and I am sending you lots and lots of love and hugs.

Leanne said...

Betty . . . I have no words. None. Whatsoever. My only care or concern right now . . . is of you. That's all.

I would hop a flight to be by your side in a second flat, if you want.

One day at a time, my friend.

One day at a time. And we are here.

The Green Streak said...

So glad you're back to blogging, BB. It's a giant step forward. Keep on walkin' and bloggin' and gather strength from your writing and your beloved bloggers.

Ms. A said...

Oh, Betty, I'm so very sorry. This type situation is hard, even when you know it's coming. It must be awful to have been smacked upside the head, with no headgear. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I'm only an email away, if you need to vent. Blessings!

Peggy K said...

Sweet BB, we are here for you. To rant, to laugh, to cry, to be with you. And we'll be standing right wit you when you come back stronger. And you WILL come back stronger, my dear!! You will.
Hugs!

marlu said...

Hugs and blessings from Kansas. All of us that follow you love you.

Nicolasa @ {My}Perspective said...

Oh Betty... {huge hug} I am so sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine getting news like that. I hope that blogging and ease your mind and help you find your new normal. If you ever need anything-I'm just an email away!

Cindi aka Ericksoc said...

Oh Betty, I wish I could hop through this computer and put my hand on your shoulder and tell you you'll get through this and to hug you and tell you it's going to be alright. My thoughts are with you.. .

Velvet Over Steel said...

Oh sweet, sweet Betty, I am so very sad for you dear friend & wish I was closer to give you a hug or get you out of the house for an afternoon.

I think blogging 'what you can or want' 'when you can or want' is the best idea and plan. You know we all care and love you very much. You're a great person and friend to everyone of us!
Take care of YOU, Betty!
Many virtual Hugs for you!! ~ Coreen

citymouse said...

I wish I had the right words to say, but I don't. Just know I am thinking of you.

Dazee Dreamer said...

We are here for you. You are loved.

I swear, right now a lot of men are doing the whole "I need to live my own life". My husband went through it 4 years ago, but never moved out. We were more like roommates, in our own bedrooms even.

I think whatever you post about on a given day will always let us know how you are feeling.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Brian (not the cat) said...

Not bad, not evil ... but clearly insane to leave somebody as beautiful, brilliant, loving and wonderful as you. The crows have put odd ideas in his head. I'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling, Betty (I know what it's like). Mourn and live through this -- there are plenty more years of beautiful life and joyful wonders ahead for you.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I am about to cry and curse up a storm, Betty. Damnit! I love you, sweet Betty. You don't deserve any of this. I have a few friends who've gone through the same. I have too, but not after such a large chunk of time. You did nothing wrong. He lost his mind. Sweetie, please feel free to email. In the meantime you have hundreds of us in the blogosphere to keep a semblance of normalcy. We want nothing more than for you to take care of you, breath by breath. You will get to the other side and you will be okay.
xoRobyn

Linda said...

Dear, dear Betty. Words fail me. In the short time I've "known" you, I've come to think of you as a friend and of HOB as a very special guy for landing a woman like you. There's such an ache in my heart after reading this post. May God comfort you and guide you through the days and months ahead.

Gail Dixon (Louisiana Belle) said...

Oh, dear. I just met you and my heart is just so sad for you and your situation. I admire your graciousness, and the eloquence of your post. This sounds so cliche, but my thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. :(

jenny_o said...

I am so sorry to hear your sad news, Betty. I'm glad you have real-life support there, and I hope you feel some comfort from all of us who are connected to you in a different way. We are here, and we care.

julie fedderson said...

I admire the grace and dignity that you put into this post. To open yourself with such brutal honesty is so strong, I haven't the words to express the awe that I feel just reading this. I have no doubt you'll find your place and identity again. Until then, I wish peace for you in the turmoil.

Susan in the Boonies said...

Betty, my heart goes out to you.

When my dear husband had his heart attack and then underwent bypass surgery, there were quite a few dark moments where I had to consider the possibility of what my life might be like without him. Me, without him. Almost inconceivable. And yet, I know that people do this, all the time. Start life over. Maybe it's due to a death. Maybe it's due to the death of a marriage. But, somehow, people do it.

Please don't feel any pressure to be anything other than who you authentically are at this juncture in your life. Please don't feel any pressure to share any thoughts or feelings AT ALL, unless YOU want to or need to.

I want you to know that you have my love and support as you move forward. I pray that God will show you where and how to walk. And that somehow or other, all this will ultimately be for the good of you and your loved ones.

I'm so sorry for your pain. I can't imagine how hard this must have been to say out loud.

Please be careful with what you share for legal reasons as well. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Sending you much love!!!

Susan

Anne Gallagher said...

I cannot even imagine the emotions you are reeling through at this time. But you are a strong woman and will get through this difficulty and come out of it all that much stronger.

Whatever you want to say here, or not, it will be all right. We'll listen.

((big giant fat hugs)) to you Betty.

Donna said...

I'm just sitting here holding my hand over my mouth...I'm stunned....BLESS YOUR HEART FRIEND!!!!! I usually try to say uplifting things...my mind is just friggin' Blank!
This has Truly been a week...
We are all here for you little Love....Bless your Heart!!!
(((((HUG)))))

Leah J. Utas said...

Betty, I am so sorry this has happened to you.

Keats The Sunshine Girl said...

Betty, am sorry your life is topsy turvy in this difficult time. Hugs to you.

LittleSilkDress said...

Hugs and prayers for you, Betty. I'm sorry everything is so upside down and scary right now.

john said...

Virtual hugs, and support from Oklahoma. This sux.

Catherine said...

Dearest Betty ~ I am sending you my deepest sympathy in knowing you are in such pain right now. Please know that I am thinking of you and wishing for you to be able to work through this and find joy again on the other end.
Love and hugs,
xo Catherine

Anonymous said...

Oh I feel so heartbroken for you. Same thing happened to me. One day. The statement. Next day his family showed up and moved him out. This two shall pass, just don't follow my bad example and cry for two years while building a wall of mistrust for men. All things will pass. I am still unable to comment so anm merely here for you as always
STONEHORSE

rainbow said...

So sad for the difficulty you are facing now. LOVE AND PRAYERS FROM ME AND ALL YOUR MANY MANY BLOTTING FRIENDS AND FAMILY. It sad to say been there done that, and a survived. When I had my divorce it dawned on me I had no identity. I was A.C. and Ginger's daughter, Mrs Bob, Gerry and Rich's Mom only. I had no idea who Lyn was, I found out Lyn is a strong, level headed wonderful person. Enjoy your trip of getting to know the TRUE BETTY. FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN SHE IS ONE VERY STRONG, LOVING and GIVING PERSON. My prayers and thoughts will be with you in this adventure in LIFE.

LOVE TO YOU AND THE BOYS.

rainbow (Momma Lyn)

Pat said...

I have been wondering about you and what was going on in your life. I am so, so sorry for this life changing event. It had to have been such a blow to hear those words. No inclination, huh? Sounds like you have tried to make it work. Well, as they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." And you ARE a strong woman. You WILL get through this.

I went through a messy divorce many years ago. My son was two and I had just given birth to my daughter. I was SHOCKED that my husband had another woman. My son was on the verge of needing open heart surgery. Believe me, it was just about the worst year of my life. But guess what? I got through it. I got strong. And you will get through this. I promise you.

We are all here for you. If you ever want to talk, you have my email. Take care, my friend.

Texas Yellow Rose said...

To You Betty from Me Betty,

My rug was pulled out from under me in 2002. I wish I had words to make the hurt go away, but I know it won't. At least for a while. You WILL make it through this. There IS life - darn good life - awaiting you.

EmptyNester said...

Oh how I wish I had the right words or a magic wand or something that could make this better. But I don't. All I can do is tell you that I am here and I will stay here and do whatever it is I can that you need.

Daisy said...

Oh dear Betty, I am so sorry to hear this. What a horrible shock. I can't even begin to imagine how this must feel for you. My heart goes out to you. Hugs to you, my friend.

Steph @ Flip Flop Chic said...

So sorry to hear that. Divorce is not easy - I have been through it. Take time to heal, and rediscover yourself as an individual. You will make it through this! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

faye said...

Oh Betty ..... this touches me so deeply.
I've been there.. not wanting any of it.
Just know that you are not alone....
If you need a shoulder or an ear..
only a cyber-note away...

Hugs

Baby Sister said...

I'm sorry that is has taken me so long to actually sit down and focus, instead of reading a few words and slightly freaking out.

Betty, I am so, so, so, so sorry. I wish more than anything that you didn't have to go through this pain. But as you are having to, know you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take all the time you need to find yourself again. You are the most important thing to take care of and heal right now. So make sure you take the time to do that.

*hugs*

Shan said...

Oh how I wish you weren't dealing with this. I will not bash HOB, either, but what the heck?!? If only the love those of us out here have for you could fill that void... I am sad for you and with you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Betty; I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I have been there - done that. It sucks, it's hard, and you will come out the other side in a better place - I promise.

You say your Husband is not a 'bad' man or an 'evil' man. Baloney. He made these major and very secret plans behind your back and acted on them without you having a say in the matter. And he won't let you know where he's living? Double baloney. Mid life crisis my fat fanny...he is a very bad and selfish person right now.

Move forward and do not look over your shoulder. Six months from now, when he's asking you to take him back, (and he will you know) Tell him to go shit in his hat.
Take care; A Yankee Gal

Linda Myers said...

It happened to me, too, years ago. At the time I felt like I was watching my life from outside my body, in a state of disbelief. I thought the rest of my life would be leftovers.

I was wrong.

Hang in there. You are not alone even when it feels like it.

Lin said...

Holy Crapalini, Betty. (I wanted to write stronger words than that, but I'm sure you have already said them ten times over) Wow. That is some timing he's got there. Gees, why didn't he wait until you had a cold too--that would have just been perfect.

We are here for you--in whatever way you choose. We can just listen when you need us to, or chime in--whatever helps you best. I'm sure you are devastated--hell, I am and I don't even know the guy.

I am sending love, prayers, strength, and peace--all so that you can cope with this and see your way through this mess. This is a shitty way to do this and I'm really, really sorry that this happened. I almost wish he did it when the boys where there to help you through it.

Hugs, my friend. We love ya.

Marlene said...

Oh Miss Betty, my heart does go out to you. I cannot imagine how blindsided you felt when dealt the blow.

Big hugs. You WILL get through this, though it may feel hopeless at times. You are strong, beautiful and intelligent. Remember that.

karen said...

As usual, I'm late reading this. I am so SO sorry. I agree: your husband is not a bad man or an evil one. But he's got his priorities confused, and he's not being a brave man right now either, and that's a pity. You, however, are being amazingly brave - although I know you're having your share of tears too. I know because I went through it too. You just have to put one foot in front of the other and make it through a day at time. And one day, you'll realize you haven't thought about it ALL DAY. It gets better, I promise. Hold your head up, stay classy, and when the pendulum swings back your way (and it always does) you'll be glad that you held on and took the high road. Good luck. We'll all be here for support!

Cynthia said...

Oh my God, Betty. I'm stunned. I just tuned in for a splash of your wonderful spirit, and never expected this. I could relate to kids leaving home and all the other life changes, but not this. He's making a mistake. A big one. Really stupid, and callously dumped on you too. I believe he will realize soon enough how foolish he has been and what great loss he has brought upon himself, and by that time you will be fortified and clear-headed and his realizations may no longer move your heart. All you can do now, though, is wrap yourself in the love so many have for you, and be kind to yourself, and do not doubt yourself (because YOU are not the problem). Try to tend to your work and the things that give you joy (even if it all feels joyless at the moment) and have faith, even if it means just whistling in the dark. Sometimes if we pretend we are brave, we are; you have to go through the motions until the real thing kicks in, faking it 'till you make it, but of course you also need someone with whom you can cry and vent and rant and try to make some sense of this thing that isn't based on sense at all, and I bet you know who's there for you in that capacity! I am so sad that you are facing this, but you are not as alone as you might think. And you are loved and wonderful. And I wish I could come over and have tea with you or go for a walk. Here are some virtual flowers, anyway...hydrangeas, maybe? Feel all these friends and readers standing by you?

Moannie said...

My daughter was faced with exactly the same scenario 24 months ago after 32 years of marriage. Last week she was granted her divorce.

She too blogged-and found herself helped along the bad days by her many friends in the Blogosphere.

I wish you well.

Brian Miller said...

i am so sorry betty...ugh...bit of humble honesty here...we went throughsimilar at the first of the year...and i was very confused myself...we did comeout the other side ofit though..but...iamsorry...

CM said...

Oh so sorry. {{hugs}}

Liz said...

Oh, BB. I'm so, very, very sorry. I wish I could make it better somehow.

You are handling it with amazing grace and tact, and that speaks volumes of who you are as a person.

The blog is your place, so write what you feel like, as you feel it.

We are here for you, rain or shine.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Oh my gosh, Betty, I feel like I've just been kicked in the stomach. I know we only know each other thru our blogs, but I feel like we're family and I just cannot imagine what you must be going thru now. My heart aches for you.
I am so so truly sorry.

The Empress said...

Oh, BETTY!!

What a sock to the stomach.

How can someone already have their mind made up, and not let you in on something that IS your life, too?

I don't understand.

Even if he wanted to leave, he should have broached the subject when he first started thinking this.

What a blow.

To have all this happen, and then drop the bomb.

I think: a coward's way of doing it.

I said it.

yes, I did.

I am SO SORRY, Betty.

I am grateful you are on the internet...so you have wisdom of others, love of others, the arms to hug you here.

We are here, and we're real.

Carri said...

Betty,

I've never visited your blog before today, but I do want to give you my support and say I'm sorry.

Dillypoo said...

A good friend of mine is going through the very same thing. His wife decided she wasn't happy and was moving to another country to be with a man she met on the internet. She's leaving a devoted and utterly devastated husband and two small sons.

Strength and hugs to you, Betty!

Nancy @ A Rural Journal said...

Cripes. How old is he? I'm sorry, but there comes a point where we are supposed to be stable. Comfortable. Looking forward to retirement.

I'm so sorry Betty. Been there, done that. If he doesn't recognize what he has, then he doesn't deserve to have it. Be strong. Be supported. Be happy in who you are -- you are a beautiful person who deserves better.

Ummm, there. I said it, my friend. Carry on with your lovely life and make sure you do what it takes to take care of you!

Lydia K said...

Oh my goodness, Betty. I can't believe it. I'm so sorry. You so don't deserve this kind of treatment or betrayal of trust and love.

I agree with what many have said. You deserve better, and he doesn't deserve you.

*hugs*

Law Momma said...

I have walked this path you are on and it feels like the emptiest and loneliest road. But you are not alone. There are those of us who have traveled this road just ahead of you, sprinkling the ground with our tears.

I'm thinking of you and sending you peace. Email me if you need anything.

Ami said...

I am so sorry. I have no idea what to say or how to say it if I did.

I am just a stranger on the internet... but if you ever need to vent, PLEASE email me.

Zuzana said...

I just returned from a short trip to the UK to find this.:( Oh how sorry I am.
What can one say to you, to tell you that all will be fine and so you can actually believe it? My only consolation is that you should trust in this statement, because it will. I am a proof of that. The place of hell I have been at in this past year, feeling so vulnerable an abandoned, discarded like trash and being no good, when I trusted a man that I loved. Loosing so much in the process...
But I went through it, although at times I felt like I could not take another breath.
And when I endured I entered paradise.
Please believe that all happens for a reason. Even the worst pain that is inflicted upon us has a part to play in our lives.
My thoughts are with you, hang in there.;)
xoxo

McGuffy Ann said...

Betty...you are wonderful. I, along with many many others, am here for you, with you. Truly. ~HUGS~

Ally said...

I am sitting here stunned with tears in my eyes, Betty. I feel so ashamed for quickly thanking you for your Monday flowers post as I rushed through blogs late last night.

Your story is so similar to what happened to us - my mom that is. My dad left "us" after nearly 30 years. My mom was stunned. I was stunned. They did everything together. There was no sense in it. They took lovely vacations. They were great friends. That was the problem Dad confessed to me years later. Just friends.

For some reason my mom got through it. She was so strong. I couldn't have done it if I were her. She took up bowling, golf, forced herself to try new things. She met two women through her teaching job and began traveling with them. I give her so much credit. I remember being sad for years, I secretly am still sad years later. They were so close to retirement. They talked for years about retiring to Florida together.

You will get through this, Betty, You have an entire army of bloggers and readers on your side. You're strong and smart and beautiful and you will get through this test. Virtual hugs.

Pat Tillett said...

Betty, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I'm also sorry to be saying this to you in such a belated manner. I've been there and understand what you are going through. What they say about time, really is true though. Hang in there my friend...

Annie said...

It happened to me also Betty. I understand how you feel. Its awful and it hurts but, you can survive. Not easy but you can survive.
I am with you in thought and prayers all the way.
Many hugs sent your way.

Green Monkey said...

BETTY! I am in shock. I've been MIA myself and to catch up I started with your August 29th post (the first day of burning man for me). The posts about your son leaving for college broke my heart. part of me wanted to slap you, after all he's not dead. another part of me wanted to be you. wanting so much to have a son who was off pursuing his dreams - happy. and finally...part of me was happy for you. (I know this sounds terrible, but I'm always honest with you). I read your 30 year anniversary post and thought... damn, thats GREAT! and then to read this.. this death of your marriage. It's shocking Betty. So.. here is my badly bruised advice. A broken heart allows the sun to shine in (or something like that) ... my version, the biggest heartbreaks are the best opportunities for growth. I know you'll grow from this Betty - you'll look back and be amazed. I love how you give so much of yourself to your blogging community - I can only image what you give to your immediate family. Be strong, be YOU, question everything, keep learning, know that you are loved. xoMonkey ME

Hilary said...

Oh, Betty. I'm so very sorry to read this. I recently returned from some time away from the computer and had no idea. My heart aches for you.. I'm so sorry you're hurting. You are a strong woman (yes, even though you don't feel that way right now) and you will come through this. Hugs to you, dear Betty.

Nicole said...

Betty... Betty.. Bettty... I am just getting caught up. Dear God...

I am soooooooooooooooooooooo sorry.

(I am waiting for the shoe to drop on my end also.)

I ... lord.. i am soo sorry.

Macy said...

So sorry I'm only catching up now!

Jesus

I have nothing to add here that others haven't except it does get better. Trust me on this. It will eventually.

KleinsteMotte said...

This is so sad. Alone just like that. That really is a terrible blow. But do keep this blog alive. This is a great place for getting support. I'm so sorry that I'm late in wishing you less pin but my thoughts are there with you.

CherylK said...

You are very brave, Betty. You might not believe that but you really are. I don't know what else to say, right now. Words are just so inadequate at a time like this.

Kristina said...

I opened up your blog post today and was honestly unsure of what was going on, so I read through every single post until I found this one - the answer of what is going on. My heart breaks for you, that this happened especially so randomly. :( Since I read all of the posts from today until the day you wrote this, I see the healing process along the way and I'm proud of you. Love and prayers to you!

Kristina

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

I've been gone a long time. I didn't really realize how long until I had to go so far back to find this. Is this what you were talking about when I left the comments regarding your posts about your Dad? You do whatever you feel like doing here and I am sure you will find that all of your blogger friends will be here to support you and love you. (some more belatedly than others)