Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Betty's Brilliant Ideas

Thank you all so much for asking about my recent gum surgery. Aren't you the sweetest Blogger Buddies ever?

It went well, but I also have a bad cough right now, so it’s been an interesting combination of physical sensations. I try to ignore the taste of blood after a really big cough.

The side of my face is fairly swollen and sore and I am developing a righteous bruise too. It's very dramatic and that's the way I like it. I believe you should always have the reward of a bruise after so much discomfort--badge of courage, and all that.

Tip for your next prolonged dental visit, especially one in which skin is "harvested" from the top of your mouth and sewn on to your gum line: I have 4 sisters, 4 brother-in-laws, 13 nieces and nephews and 11 great nieces and nephews. In order to keep my mind off the scalpel, needle and thread piercing the soft pink skin of my mouth, I recite the full names of all of these family members in my head. (I would hereby like to thank my niece who had a child just in time for this particular procedure. Thanks for helping out!)

Now, you know that Betty likes to publish posts that are decently developed and dressed-up for your perusal. I rarely send out disjointed, haphazard posts dressed in wild pajamas, but I’ve been recovering from my recent surgery and cough for two days now and have had a lot of time to think about random things.

Normally, I would run these ideas past HOB and judge by the “Meter o’ Madness” looks on his face as to whether or not to unleash them upon the world. Alas, he is traveling now, though, leaving me to my own devices. And so, without adult supervision here at the ranch, I proceed to bring out the pretty ponies that have been prancing through my head lately.

Please note: I have taken nothing stronger than Advil in the last 48 hours.

It's true.

Oh yes it is.



The Choice: You can give up eating or sleeping with no ill effects. Which would you choose? Betty’s choice: I would give up eating. It’s a pain to have to eat all the time and I really enjoy sleeping.

Betty’s fabulous fund-raising idea: The theater is full of people anticipating the beginning of the play. They have about fifteen minutes to wait. For $100.00 you can send a friend up to the stage and have everyone cheer for that person. Job promotion? Wedding announcement? Birthday? $100.00 buys that person one minute of 300-500 people cheering wildly. Explain to people that it’s a fund raising effort for a school or a theater arts camp for kids. People will get pumped up! What else do they have to do? They come to the theater expecting to applaud anyway. So what if they are just acting excited and happy? It's the theater for heaven's sake.

Festival of Orange Food: A potluck in which everyone is required to bring only orange food. The table will be covered with bright green plastic grass to compliment the orange food. No other color of food would be allowed. So, what are you going to bring? Huh? Huh?

Fact: I would actually pay up to $2.00 extra per movie ticket if the theater would guarantee no previews. I pay for a 7:00 show; the show starts at 7:00. No previews. Heavenly. Let's make this happen, people.

When someone has a house with the same floor plan as yours, don't you just love to see how they've changed the house, decorated, or remodeled? In our neighborhood of 100 houses, there are approximately 20 houses that are the same floor plan as ours. I would like to form a group of these people and have dinners at the various houses. We could see what others have done with their homes and wander around in the houses, feeling as if we are in parallel universes.

Betty’s Decorating Idea: Buy this kind of trailer, put a mattress in it and make this fabulous trailer into a bed for an industrial loft or a boy’s room. Note the built-in headboard. Love it! Avoid the rush! Get yours now. Fast and easy delivery too!




Believe me, there are more ideas in this brain, but I think I got enough out to relieve the pressure for now. It's a burden, being so brilliant, I tell you.

Thanks again for all your good wishes!

Hope you are having fabulous days!

54 comments:

Seams Inspired said...

Sending you lots of 'get well' wishes as your poor gums heal. May your bruise turn fascinating shades of yellow and purple for your viewing pleasure.

You are brilliant, indeed. LOVE the ideas!

PS...I'd bring Sweet Potato Casserole to the dinner. :o)

Happy Wednesday!

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

The clapping idea is brilliant-

Peggy K said...

You should do surgery more often. All this good stuff bubbles to the top!!!

Leah J. Utas said...

I like the trailer hitch bed. No need for any hacking. Pile on the mattress, attach it to a vehicle and go on a sleep tour.

Lin said...

Oh, Betty--your surgery sounds AWFUL! Criminy, a skin graft in your MOUTH??? ouchie. I hope you feel better soon.

With you on the sleep. LOVE sleep and lots of it.

Trailer bed--cool. And you can pile all their crap on it to and from college, thus saving renting a truck. Smart.

Poppyseed cake with orange frosting. (I usually make it pink, so I'm really stretching my cooking ability here)

I'd pay just to have everyone shut the hell up at the theater too. I don't go anymore because of it.

Like the Floor Plan party idea! We have a ton of houses here that all look alike and I agree-it is fun to go into my model and peek around. Except we are in a blue-collar neighborhood and decorating to them is a head on the wall.

I think you are brilliant on meds. I hate to think if you had stronger meds or more time to lay there and think. :)

Get well soon, pally!

Catherine said...

I like the way you think Betty! :)

Hope you feel well soon!
xo Catherine

Madi and Mom said...

MOL BB,
Oh me we are not laughing at you but with you. Mom knows your pain first hand and she is so sorry. Mom has never had a cough at the time of gum surgery so you have reached new levels of pain. Inquiring minds want to know.........would you rather give birth or have gum surgery? Ooops we hope that didn't make you laugh too hard.
Hugs Madi and Mom

laughingmom said...

I've had that surgery 3 times - last time used donor skin - thank you cadaver! Hope you heal quickly!

Love the Orange food idea - I'd bring cooked salmon or sweet potatoes served in hollowed out orange halves!

Anne Gallagher said...

Wow, all this brilliance on Advil alone! I might have to try me some of that.

LOVE all the ideas. I think I like the theatre one best. I could really use some applause right now, but as I only have $50- bucks, does that mean you can only clap one hand?

Feel better.

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Long with a big hug comes my best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Dental surgery is not pleasant.

Take good care.
Yvonne,

Brian said...

I'm glad your mouthy ouchy is getting some better...and I love that rolling bed idea!

Out on the prairie said...

The bed idea works well, but leaving the hitch on allows a place to throw clothing.Hoping for a speedy recovery.

Jingle said...

Glad you are fine with everything going on,
get well soon on your bad cough.
cheers.

Cake Betch said...

LOL Betty I know you're being modest but those really are great ideas! I really like the one for the theater, because you're right, people would clap and cheer and be crazy. You could raise a decent amount of money doing something like that.

Jules said...

LOL, we have similar adult supervision required thought process :) I'll be bringing orange jello and hey, put a trap on that bed and you have a mobile home :D
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Teresa Evangeline said...

Yes, orange jello, with some greenery trapped inside.

Speedy recovery and keep those brilliant ideas coming! You wear your Advil well.

I do like the ultra-contemporary trailer hitch bed look.

Flartus said...

Cheeze balls!

(That's what I would bring to the potluck. Maybe you should combine that with the floor-plan party idea.)

I would suggest you have gum surgery more often, but I'm guessing you wouldn't agree. Maybe I should just thank HOB for leaving you unsupervised for a while.

And seriously, nothing stronger than Advil? Yikes!

Bouncin' Barb said...

I hope the healing process is quick for you. It is sucky. I definitely would give up food vs. sleep. Sleep is a gift. I would bring orange Starbursts to the table. I love those things and they are addictive.

Susan in the Boonies said...

I love your pretty ponies.
Brilliance strikes when the brain is allowed to flit where it will.

I just made that up in my down time. ;-D

Cheeseboy said...

I love these ideas! Especially the movie theater one. I'd pay an additional $2 for an "adults only" show in which only 18+ could watch, even if it was a PG movie. An additional $2 would also be paid for no cell phones in the theater.

That surgery/cold combo sounds awful!

Old Kitty said...

Please take care and recuperate fully, lovely BB!!! Glad the surgery is now over!! Phew!!

I like your orange food idea!!! I'd bring lots and lots of Cheese Curls, orange cheese, dorritos, carrot cake! :-)

Take care
x

Madi and Mom said...

BB yes indeed I'm counting down after today I'll have 11 working days. Whoopee

A big get well hug,
C

LittleSilkDress said...

Best. Post. Ever.

Is that advil providing enough pain relief? Or is this post the result of a pain-induced stupor?

jenny_o said...

Seriously, I like the fundraising idea. And the rest are great too.

Orange food? A big old bowl of sweet buttercup squash. Or a big old bowl of cool buttercup squash soup, in case anyone has had dental surgery recently.

One of my offspring is familiar with that particular surgery. It's not nice at all. I hope your cough disappears and your mouth heals quickly.

Ms. A said...

Hahahahahahaha... seems the oral surgery has worked to your advantage! Feel better, soon.

slommler said...

You play well in the sand box after oral surgery!! Ha! You sure you are only taking Advil??? Sounds like you a trippin' to me!!??
Hugs
SueAnn

A Tale of Two Cities said...

Well, so much inspiration out of one surgery--you are brilliant, and funny too....

Thanks for the laughs!

Ann said...

OUCH, that first part sounded painful. Glad to hear you got through it with the help of family.
I'm thinking those are all fabulous ideas. The bed is a great idea, with those wheels it would be super easy to move also

Liz said...

NO WAY! BB, we are somehow 2 souls meant to meet. I had this SAME THING done while I was pregnant with Maddie!

I cannot believe this.

We are jaw-gum twins. :)

Keep on healing!

Sara said...

I don't mind the previews so much, but I'd definitely pay to skip the commercials. Whennnnn did it become ok to play commercials before movies??

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'll take the previews but pay five dollars for no commercials.

Noelle said...

I like previews.
I would bring orange jello.
I LOVE the trailor!

I hope you feel 100% soon!

Hilary said...

I think you should refrain from filtering your ideas through HOB from now on. This is very entertaining.

I hope you feel much better very soon.

ThreeOldKeys said...

Theater: I'd like to have a volume control and turn down the previews. As my ears are geting used to the big sound, they feel like they're being assaulted.

Orange Fest: Well it sounds like the orange jello is covered. But when I was little we used to love it with shredded carrots. My kids? Couldn't stand it. I'll bring a box of Cheez its.

Feel Better! Keep percolating on those great ideas.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Glad your gum surgery went well! Hope your cough goes away soon too.

Your festival of orange food thought reminded me of when I went to a fundraiser called a "White Out". Everybody had to wear white and there was white food-- pasta with cream sauce, white asparagus and white cheddar popcorn. :)

Joyful said...

You never fail to make me laugh, even when you're in pain. I hope you get better real soon but take a photo of your bruises. It might come in handy for a sympathy vote later ;-)

Gigi said...

Awww, Betty you are brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Hope you heal quickly.

Tracy said...

Wow, Betty, that was very well, enlightening! How much medication are you taking and WHAT is it you are taking?
...just thought I'd ask!
Those topics all just traveled the world over...very, ummm, broad!
yeah, that's the word...
I truly hope you are feeling better...ugh, I'm really thinking of you and sending you healing vibes :)

ds said...

HA! You must either take Advil more often, or not vet your posts through HOB any more. This is great! I'd bring an orange to the dinner. What else? And oh yes I'd pay to not have to sit through endless previews at the movies. Of course, I don't go to the movies very often...

Seriously, hope you are feeling better. Surgery sounds nasty, despite the family names mantra.

Mamma has spoken said...

Orange food: orange sherbert maybe I'll get creative and make a sunshine punch with it that is for adults only.
Next time I go to the Opera or the symphony or the theater, it won't be the same because I'll be sitting there wishing I could pay the hundred to stand on the stage for that brief moment of fame.

CherylK said...

That fund raising idea is brilliant, Betty! Really brilliant.

And I just love the Festival of Orange Food suggestion, too. In fact, I have such looney friends that we might just be able to pull this one off. Sometime this summer, I'm thinking. I'll let you know how it goes.

So, so sorry about your poor mouth. The taste of blood in the mouth is something to be avoided at all cost. I hope you feel much better very soon.

faye said...

You quack me up.....
love the random flow of thoughts..
a daily occurence as you age, so don't go blaming it on dental surgery....

Wishes for a speedy recovery.!

Lydia K said...

I so don't want to get gum transplants. You poor thing!

I would definitely give up sleeping. Think of all that extra time!

Marlene said...

Oh, you are too funny!!!!

I'd bring some CHEETOS, duhhhhh!!!

If I had to go without sleeping or eating, it would be sleeping! I NEED TO EAT!! I LOVE MY FOOD!!!

Ella said...

OOh, sorry you are in pain! I hope you heal, quickly!
YOU are a hoot, I love these quirky, fun idea~ YOU are in good spirits~
Take Care @>---

Linda said...

I've had that procedure that you described. Not fun. But it didn't have the same effect on me. The creative juices just didn't flow in the same way they have for you. I loved this post. I can hardly wait until the pressure builds up again. :)

The Adorkable Ditz said...

That's hilarious BB I hope you get better and have wonderful uninterrupted sleep since I imagine eating is kind of a pain right now.

Brian Miller said...

totally giving up sleep...i sleep maybe 5 hours a night any way so i wont be missing much...but food...ahh...happy place...

yikes on the gun surgery...glad it is getting better...

Daisy said...

Orange food? How about some sweet potatoes? :D

I would definitely give up sleep instead of food. I like to eat much more than I like to sleep.

I hope you are on the mend and feeling much better by now, Brilliant Betty. :-)

Mike said...

Harvesting?! Yeowch that hurts just saying it. Feel better.

The Retired One said...

I am sooo behind in my blog reading,so I am not reading this until late Friday night. I had no idea you had gum surgery, so please accept my "hope you feel better soon" belated wishes!! That must have been awful to go through, and I hope you feel better and back to normal soon.
Take care of yourself and rest all that you can, it will make you heal faster.

Pat Tillett said...

It must be one heck of a burden, because you are darn brilliant!
Only Advil? Okay, maybe you aren't as brilliant as I thought...
Alcohol may intensify the effect you know!

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

Love your green photos, Betty. I'm bringing Cheese curls to your party. I'm also giving up sleeping because I love cheese curls and chocolate cookies too much to ever stop wanting to eat them. I think your fund-raising idea is inspired.

Nick Thomas said...

Gum surgery is better than bum surgery!