Thursday, October 28, 2010

Friday Follow-Up in Three Parts

Betty's Got Leftover Thoughts: Reduced for Quick Sale

Betty's found a little dough left over from her last post and has fashioned it into a little cookie of a story and then a couple of discussion points we can linger over as we digest and get ready for the weekend.


He's not just Crow Crazy

About six months ago, we were waiting for Sonny Boy to finish up his shopping at the mall, so GOSB (Girlfriend of Sonny Boy) and I were waiting in the car with HOB, talking, enjoying the breezes through the open windows. Then GOSB said, "What's that noise?" I heard the scratching too. It seemed to be coming from above us on the roof. "What is going on?" I said, thinking that small branches were skittering around on the top of the car even there there was very little wind.

We looked up at HOB who was silent, eating nuts, playing it cool.

I listened some more. Then it dawned on me. "Are you putting nuts on the top of my car for the seagulls?"

HOB just sat, chewing, a faint smile playing on his face.

Notice I said we were in my car, not his.

Discussion Point #1

In my last post I noted that we had nicknames for people on our street.

I got quite a kick out of hearing the nicknames that Kathie from Just a Happy Housewife had for her neighbors. She wrote in a comment:

We nickname neighbors we don't know either. There was "mustang guy's house" until they moved...."Hillbilly" and then "brother & sister" because it's a couple and they look like they're brother and sister.

So, Betty wants MORE! Do you have nicknames for your neighbors? Tell me! (Keep it G-rated, my people, and don't worry--your neighbors do not read my blog.)

Discussion Point #2:

Also in my last post I alluded to HOB's facial reaction to my questioning. It's a look he's polished over the years. When I ask about something that he does not want to discuss, he loves to give me a look that indicates complete confusion. Not only that, but it is a look that indicates that he is completely sane and composed and I am the insane nut job who is asking the questions. Then comes the slow repeating of the question I just asked. I KNOW the man is just trying to get away from the original issue, is just buying time, AND is messing with my psyche, trying to get me to doubt my own sanity.


Betty (sweetly): Did you take the clothes out of the dryer before they were dry?

HOB (slightly confused look combined with contrived innocence): What? What are you saying?

Betty (clearly and distinctly): These clothes smell funny, Did you take them out of the dryer before they were dry?

HOB (the SUPER confused look now and a tone of irritation, as though he is trying to decipher a foreign language): Clothes? Dryer? What is it you want to know? Did I take the clothes out from where?

Betty (patiently and sweetly, not a twinge of sarcasm) : I had clothes in the dryer and now they aren't there and these smell funny.

HOB (now getting into the nitpicking so as to avoid larger, vital laundry issue): So you are smelling your clothes and you want to know what?

It goes on from there.

Sometimes for days.

It won't work. It won't. It won't.

SO here's my question to you: Does your significant other have a habit like this, designed to make you crazy? Does he/she have a signature avoidance technique?

Tell Betty all about it! You'll feel better and so will I.

Happy Friday everyone!


Ami said...

You know, I would totally comment, but you said to keep it G rated.

And I can't.

Or wait, did you say Grated and I just read it wrong?

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA, oh gosh, too funny!

Anonymous said...

HOB, Betty is being nice. ANSWER the question!

Marlene said...

Feeding the seagulls on the roof of your car!!!! CLASSIC!!!!! LOL!!!!

Liz Mays said...

He is such a master of the art of talking in circles!

I have named my neighbors before, yes indeedy. We have Black Jeans McGee, The Anals, and Old Lady Shorty Shorts.

Jennifer said...

I only have one neighbor on this road but I call them the pyromaniacs because they are always burning stuff. They love to set their ditch (that is right across the road from our place) on fire after the tall grass dies in the fall and just take off and leave it to burn unsupervised.

DrSoosie said...

Betty being a lover of dr. Suess, I have names for everyone under the sun. However, I am ashamed to admit many are not politically correct or G-rated. So, unfortunately I don't think I can share!!! As far as my husband and avoidance...well tim has many "typical"things that he does that can (depending on my mood) drive me crazy. But he is pretty avoidance is not one of them. Hmmm...I think I may be more like your husband in that regard.

Bethany said...

That sounds like fun. I'm going to start nick-naming my neighbors, even though I know their names. The guy to the north will be "Bowler Hat Guy", the kid to the south will be "Creepy Shivers", and the lady behind us will be "Diamond" because if you put a piece of coal up her hiney....

That picture is disturbing. Who buys mayo that's been reduced for quick sale? Eew.

sfdada said...

Fun fun fun.we have a "diamond" too, but i'll call her "pickles" instead so I don't sound so bad to the kids.
Makes me wonder what my neighbors are calling me!

Baby Sister said...

My neighbor that lives across the street? The husband is named "the weirdo who has a bad reputation with Qwest cause he's got tone issues"...he also happens to be my brother...imagine that... ;)

Boyfriend doesn't avoid anything...on purpose anyway. I've learned if I really need him to focus on me and he's doing something with technology I have to put my face in his and tell him I'm not moving until I have his undivided attention. It works great. :) said...

I can't wait to see HOB's rebuttal to this post. What's he got to say for himself?
Thank goodness I have no significant other. You always cheer me, Betty.

Sueann said...

We don't have nicknames for our neighbors...maybe I am missing out here?
My hubby is constantly losing things and it drives me crazy. Mostly because he says I move them and so it is my fault. I didn't even see the danged thing!! Sigh!

Old Kitty said...

Ooooh I never thought to make up names for my neighbours apart from neighbour next door, neighbour next door but one to the left, one to the right, two doors down neighbour! LOL!!!

Awww HOB is such a TREASURE!! I like that he feeds the birds!! Awwwwww!!!! :-)

My ex-significant other used to drive me mad by pretending to listen to me when I knew he wasn't. He'd agree and nod but his eyes were glassy and had that far far far away look!

Have a great Friday! Take care

Brian said...

We do have nicknames for our neighbors too, we have zoom zoom because he loves the sound of any small engine running full blast and we have slam-slam, he must open and close his car doors at least 60 times each night. Hey, I liked how HOB didn't really answer your question, what office is he running for?

Ca88andra said...

We only have one neighbour with a nickname. That would be the old Italian lady next door - sometimes extended to the old Italian lady next door who is looking for her cat in our backyard!

Jane said...

Oh, I have names for my neighbors. The girl next door, well, you will have to guess how I refer to her. The guy next door is just plain odd, and his antics are too R-rated to post in a blog. Unfortunately, the wall between my unit and his is obviously non-weight bearing. However, I will say that the neighbors keep to themselves and that for me makes for the best kind of neighbor!


Dee at Pedestrian Palate said...

On the short list of things to NEVER buy on sale - mayonaise. Ew.

Peggy K said...

The love of my life is 16 years older than me. Let's just say, by most peoples' definition, he'd be considered an "Old Fart". Doesn't come anywhere close to looking his age, so this technique is harder for me to embrace.
His diversion technique not-so- cleverly employs his inability to hear what I'm saying when I'm 20 ft. from him. 1st attempt at getting a response from him...silence. 2nd attempt: (I ask a little louder)..."Did you say something?" 3rd attempt: (Me-louder still)..."Sorry, the fridge was running and I couldn't hear you." So by the 4th attempt I get my question/statement to reach the other set of ears in the house. (Forget about the dog hearing it. He's 15 and doesn't hear when I walk in the room).
Neighbor nicknames: "McGillicuddy" for the one who just won't shut up and won't take the hint that someone's gotta go!! I have no idea how I came up with that name.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

My wife's usually the one to play the 'act innocent' game in our house!

Anonymous said...

How 'bout the Grizwald's-- give you a clue on their normal behavior

Larri said...

LOL! True story...we've always had nicknames for our neighbors. This dates back to when I was a little girl. Mom called the guy who lived next door, DimWit. My youngest sister, about 4 at the time, sweetly hollered out a "Good Morning, Mr. DimWit!" one summer day. You'd think we'd learned our lesson, but alas, we still give the neighbors nicknames...Gooberheads up the Street, DingDong down the way, and always a favorite...Idiots behind us. :o) Happy Friday!

My Mind's Eye said...

One neighbor is called Yard Queen,
and not because her yard is

HOB loves him some birds doesn't he!!! Maybe you should rent Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds' this weekend.
Happy Friday,

Anonymous said...

We used to have nicknames for neighbours. At our last place there was, #3 (he lived in apartment #3, we're clever) and ponytail guy. Now, we have someone below and someone above. The woman above is named Candice but we kept forgetting her name so she's now known as Clarice.

Out on the prairie said...

Hey I order more bread when at a restruant near the ocean, and take it to the gulls.Names: Crazy Barbara-she lives by herself and talks nonstop,Commander in Chief-Her word is final and always right,plus she likes this name,and a cat whose name changes with what it has done wrong, Nuisance now.Sounds like our lives are fairly similar.You might add WFBS on your husbands initials for Who Feeds Birds Secretly. A friend, Big Joan, enjoys naming people when we go out, like a principal with tattoos, Blue Arm.

Cool Gal said...

Okay...many, many neighbor names.

"Peppermint Patty, Charlie Brown, and Pig Pen." The husband and wife look like those two and their kid is always dirty.

"Koresh," as in David

"The stick figure"

"Barbie and Ken"

"Bearded Wonder"

I could go on.

About the mister...don't even get me started. He pleads "ignorant" all the time. It drives me crazy!!! "I don't know what you're talking about." "I don't remember."

By the way, I have the same issue with him and the dryer. I am constantly yelling at him because whenever he puts in a load he always dries it on the "timed dry" setting. It never dries the clothes completely (He thinks he's saving on the gas bill.). Same argument over and over. I'm telling you, my life is like TiVo.

Happy Halloween weekend!

Joe Cap said...

When old neighbors move out of their house, everyone still refers to that house as "Bob and Sue's house".
Years later, no matter who is actually living there, it will still be referred to as "Bob and Sue's house".

Joe Cap said...

PS...regarding the second part of your question...I don't actually HAVE any quirks or bad habits that annoy my bride, since I am the perfect man.

Nat said...

OK, it's official...HOB is obsessed with the birds! Did he spend time on Alcatraz in a previous life? :)

My other half also tries the "I can't understand you!" ploy to get around touchy topics... if that fails, he just pretends to be completely deaf! Neither works on me....

Leah J. Utas said...

My husband does not remember names, so he associates people with something. Can't think of an example now that wouldn't take forever to explain.

Anonymous said...

My neighbours are "3am Pothead", and "Mr. Why-bother-throw-it-in-the-trash." He's always leaving litter in the elevator and garage because he thinks it's someone else's job to pick it up. Argggg! - G

Jules said...

Man, HOB does love them birds. We have 1 bad neighbor and that is how we refer to him, "The bad neighbor." Funny, everyone knows who we are talking about :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Liz said...

Wow, HOB really does have a bird thing, eh? I'm telling ya, I bet there is a help group.

We do have names for neighbors. In fact there is a whole cover of people who are frowned upon, and one name that categorizes them all.

Lydia Kang said...

I thought all spouses were wired for complete avoidance techniques related to all thing household. Like: inability to see pile of laundry that needs folding.
Inability to smell dirty dishes that need cleaning in the sink. Inability to sense piles of mail that needs to be sorted. Etc, etc. It's a gene, right? That they all have?

Joey Lynn Resciniti said...

My neighbors call the one I refer to as Big D-Bag, Mr. Muscles or Muscle Man.

That's as good as it gets in the present neighborhood.

My husband has been laughing at everything I say this week.

Me: "I put my grow light on a timer for the plants so I don't have to remember to go down there and turn it off anymore."

Husband: Laughs as though he just heard a really funny knock knock joke.

Me: "What was funny?"

Husband: Laughs as though it's funny I'm hoping to smother him with a pillow after he falls asleep.

Talli Roland said...

Happy Friday!

Living in London, I don't know any of my neighbours (yeah, sad, I know). It's just like that here. But we do have one bloke next to us who seems to pop up in unexpected places. We call him Waldo.

Alison said...

Discussion Point #1: Since I've met most of my neighbors through dog-to-dog contact, we tend to refer to them as "the people with the X" (boxers, Jack Russell, etc). There's also The Lesbian with the Puffy Dog who walks by our house most mornings around 7:30. (What? We're always on the lookout for Family.)

On the other hand, the two dogs directly across the street from us, who spent the majority of their time in the yard barking at everything that moved, I dubbed Joe and Sparky Barky, despite the fact that I normally am horrible at choosing pet names.

On our recent trip to the mountains, we were waylaid on a back road by a car-chasing canine, and I mused to Miss Chef, "I wonder if he's a Barky, too?"

HulaBuns said...

LOL! To discussion item #1: We have several - Ted, Ted $hit on your head, Stinkface, The Elderly Sterotypers, Guy Who Wears the Same Shirt I Do, Retired Cop-aroo, and Fancy Stuff Folk. I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of right now.

To discussion item #2: I feel as though HOB and Binderclips should be related as we have that same exact scenario happen to us a lot. To add to it though (because, just as you know that HOB is messing with you, I know Binderclips is messing with me) I mess with him in return. Example:

Him: Did you move my glasses?
Me: I don't think you should talk about looking at other people's anatomy that way (making it seem like I heard him say "I like to look at other people's a$$es").
Him: Funny look
HIm: Continues with funny look for a couple more minutes
Him: We need to get your ears checked.
Me: What did you call me?

In short, I've found that messing with them in return can be VERY fun. :)

One Photo said...

Feeding the seagulls, oh my, all that bird crap and more to deal with! HOB is definitely a card!

We do have names for one set of neighbors but I am not sure they are G-rated! If I tell you they once had a pumpkin patch in their back yard then you might have some idea :-)

Hilary said...

We have "Speedo" because for years, he'd wear nothing more than that in the summer.

"Biker Dude" revs his Harley whenever he feels like jolting the neighbourhood awake.

Then there's the guy who is dumb as a post, drinks to excess and starts fights and swears a blue streak in front of his kids. We call him "Bif." It stands for Big Ignorant F..... (the rest is not suitable for your ratings)

LittleSilkDress said...

We have "the thugs." That nickname was solidified the time we saw the police at their place over the summer.

Connie said...

The tree people live across from us. He cuts them down--the ones that get old and diseased or storm damaged. She works with the Parks Dept. and plants them. HA! :D

My hubby mostly just pretends to suddenly be unable to hear me when I ask a question he doesn't want to answer.

Happy Halloween, Betty. I hope you have a great weekend! :D

Sarah said...

I guess I could name a neighbor "raisin" because she clearly loved the sun way too much when she was young. But that wouldn't be nice, so I won't. :)

baygirl32 said...

the room of your car! haha

Ann said...

OMG I didn't make the connection when you talked about HOB's facial expressions but when you spelled out the conversation it hit me. My husband does the same kind of thing. I'll say something in clear plain english and he acts like I'm speaking a foreign language. He'll eventually shake his head and walk away mumbling something about men and women just don't think alike. Now I must devise a plan of attack for the next time he does this to me :)

Anonymous said...

Well, because we have a little guy, we are pretty careful to call people by their names, along with Mrs. and Mr., especially with Halloween coming up, because, you can imagine how that might go with a 4-year-old. But. We do have one. We call him Shawwwwnnnn. But not in a nice way. I'm not sure why. He annoys us. HOC (Husband of Chicken)is usually the one calling me out, but he snores. So there.

Ann said...

oh I forgot to tell you that I tagged you in my post yesterday. My power was out last night and I didn't get around to letting anyone know about it. If you don't do that kind of thing it's ok :)

Unknown said...

It seems like no matter where we move to we have a neighbor that we call 'The Burbs' after the 80's movie. When we call them that it's meant that they don't keep their property up to the standards of the rest of the neighborhood.
We also have the cat lady, crazy gun lady, lawn mower man.
At this time of year, I'm know as the Halloween house :o/

Eileen said...

Across the street we have the Witch and the Weasal. We also have Tattoo Guy (he's absolutely covered) and the Kids on the Corner (though all of them have to be in their 20s, at least, and I'm only in my 30s - but seriously, there have to be like 8 of them in that house). In my previous neighborhood, we had Crazy Flower Cat Lady and Racist Preacher Man (he really was a preacher and the minute he told me he was glad to see a white couple had bought the house - an interracial couple lived next door - I named him Racist Preacher Man). We actually have some really wonderful neighbors, too - but none of them have nicknames. :)

Miriam in KS said...

When we first moved into this house 26 years ago, a neighbor had a dog who "shopped" the neighborhood garbage bags each Thursday. The dog has been known as the "D--- Trash Dog" ever since.

Cheeseboy said...

Not thinking HOB is going to be digging this post.

Zuzana said...

This post made me smile.;) I do not have any stories to tell, but I recall my father used to (and still does) make up nicknames for EVERYTHING. People and places.;)) Getting my mom into trouble at all times as at one point she would call people by those nicknames to their faces.;))Have a lovely weekend,

Joann Mannix said...

Ohhhh, yes! My hubs does the very same thing and tries to make me look like the crazy one!

We live in the country now, but before this house we lived in a neighborhood with some interesting characters indeed.

Next door, we had Tom, the neighbor who would walk out of his house the second he saw signs of life at our house. He would pretend to wash his car constantly as he watched us. He would also say semi racy things to me all the time that drove me crazy. My hubs called him, Mrs. Kravitz. I called him Perv Car Wash Man.

The couple next door were our friends. They were so beautiful, we called them Ken and Barbie and yes, we called them that to their face.

The woman across the street loved to sit in her front yard and drink herself some cocktails, every single night for hours, we called her Lush Laurie.

And then of course, there was the mom down the street who let loose at a neighborhood party one time. She came up to my husband and announced she liked to do this one impulsive thing when she liked someone and then she proceeded to lick the side of his face from the top to the bottom.She was forever known as The Licker.

Cricket said...

No good nicknames, unfortunately. There was a house we used to call "the trailer park," but it got sold and the new owners cleaned it up.

As far as irritating habits go, though, my darling dear has an atrocious memory. Except for my faults and failings, of course: those are indelibly etched in. Anyway, we routinely have conversations like this:

Well, at least #1 son isn't eating two lunches at school anymore...

WHAT?!? He's eating two lunches?

Um, you told me that.

No I didn't. I'd remember that.

Apparently, you wouldn't. You told me he came home from school raving about the french toast sticks, and how much he liked them....

(back and forth for a while)

Oh. Yeah, I guess I do remember telling you that.


I could go on forever. Why did you paint the front door green?

Because I brought color strips back from the paint store and that's the color we picked?


Why would I make this stuff up? Why, if I wanted to choose the color on my own, would I make two trips to the store? Why would I...

Oh, you get the idea. These conversations always end the same. Oh. Yeah, I remember now. I tell you, old age is going to be a treat:

Ham and beans? Do I like this?

(my DD hates ham and beans)

Oh yeah, it's your favorite....


Heh, heh.

Fitter After 50 said...

What I wouldn't give to find out what the neighbors of some of your commentators name theirs. :) As for the HOB and questions, mine notoriously changes the subject. :)

Gigi said...

Oh yeah, we have nicknames for the neighbors (doesn't everyone?). One neighbor is the Lawnmower Guy - because that's all he does all the time is mow his grass. The other neighbor - well..... you did ask that I keep it G-rated so I won't even go there.

Pat said...

Ha ha! I don't know what's funnier - reading your post or the comments!

You could live a life like me, constantly on the move, so if you don't like your neighbor, you just pack up and leave!

But when we are in AZ, we stay for 5-6 months. We have the same neighbors. I guess we would call the one guy "Jitters" because he drinks coffee non-stop and chain smokes. The guy next to him is "Bob the Builder" because he's always tinkering with something!

My husband has me repeat everything even though I know full well he can hear me. I want to smack him sometimes!

Shan said...

Well I mentioned the one house I've recently named in this neighborhood. There is a sort of theme I've just noticed about my last two residences.

At the tiny little apartment after Tom and I wed... there was a woman around the corner. That was the Crazy Lady House. (She yelled at me as I drove *the speed limit* down her street, then got in her car and drove over to my place to try to continue haranging me. What the...?)

Prior to that Corey and I lived with my mom for two years. In her neighborhood is The Crazy Family House. All freaking nuts, from the grandmother down to the youngest grandchild (who was three at the time). It seems like they've settled down in the past three or four years, but we know what's lurking just below the surface, buahahaha.

As for Tom, yes, he does have his "tricks." There are a few of them. However, it's late and my brain power has gone to other things (probably just as well not to focus on that stuff anyway, right *ohm*).

Hugs :+)

My Mind's Eye said...

Happy Halloween BB, Zelda and Mabel
Madi and Mom

Joanne Olivieri said...

I'm not going to comment on nicknames for neighbors because my neighbors may be reading this.

Here's my suggestion, Since there is such a fascination with the bird popularity, I say you should build an aviary in your yard and treat it as a museum. Charge people to come check out your seagulls and crows. At least it would get them off the roof and your car :)

Lin said...

Oh yes! We DO have names for everyone on the block too! For the most part, they are nice, but if I use their real names, Joe can't remember who is who--I've got to use their nicknames.

My favorite is the guy on the corner--he's always messing with power tools and one of these days, he's gonna take off a limb, I swear. We call him "Stavy" from the movie "The Ringer". He was a guy who cut off his fingers.

Jimmy said...

We do have one up the street known as "The Goat Mans House" not sure what his name is but this is what his house is called.

Yes it took me years to finally see but a typical avoidance technique used against me is answering my question with another question to which I answer then the whole game changes and my original question is forever lost :^)

Kazzy said...

Now I am worried about nicknames the neighbors have for us. Yikes!

Powdered Toast Man said...

I don't have any neighbors so I don't have funny nicknames :-(

My fiancee always asks a question instead of answering mine. She will avoid my question and bounce it back at me. Very irritating.

Jami said...

This is terrible, but I'll tell you anyway. Before we had kids there was a family at our church: mom, dad, 2 kids. The kids were like 4 and 6, with thick, wavy, dark hair. The parents always dressed like they had just stepped away from their jobs at a bank, but the kids always, always had bed-head. I'm not talking a little, either. Trying not to be mean (while laughing at them) we reasoned that they must have lost their brush. Since we didn't know their names, to this day, we will refer to that family as the Brush family.

Gosh, I feel guilty just writing that, but it was SOOO funny at the time!