Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Mirror, Mirror, On The Floor.

About four weeks ago I was leaning over the sink brushing my teeth, when my brain was temporarily distracted from its full enjoyment of the minty sensation in my mouth by the dripping of water on my foot. Humm, I thought. Now there’s a puzzle. The water is splashing in the sink, but somehow ending up on my foot which is tucked under the edge of the vanity.

I brushed some more, my thoughts concentrated like a marble on a tilt maze trying to make its way to what should have been an obvious conclusion and yet, it took me awhile to finally open the vanity door and discover the pool of water there on the shelf under the sink.

Long-time readers will remember the fateful day when HOB, hyped up on testosterone after putting in a window screen, saw a chunk of gunk in my sink and since he had a screwdriver in his hand decided to “help me out” by chipping away at the gunk. Instead, he plunged the screwdriver all the way through. He fixed this by putting a blob of silicone in the hole. This fix lasted for about ten months.

Call me rash and foolhardy, but I thought that perhaps the dripping water meant the time had come to get a new vanity. As most of you know, we did indeed get one and are awaiting a plumber’s services now.

Looking at the new, stately dark wood vanity, I also quickly realized that the square, silver 70’s mirror with the rusted out medicine cabinet at the bottom was going to have to go.

A friend of mine once told me she thought her bathroom mirror was nicer than other mirrors, that she had developed a relationship with it and was always surprised when other mirrors popped up to show her a different image. I thought about this and realized it was true.

This mirror I had looked into for 18 years really was the one I relied upon and trusted. After all, it saw me the most and we’d been through an awful lot together. I, well, I really thought of it as a friend. Think your mirror is cruel to you sometimes? One trip to out, for example to the mall, will convince you that your own mirror is nice in comparison.

Mirrors in department stores are bitter at having to do so much work for so little reward and no true relationship with just one special person. The mirrors at the make-up counters in these stores are not to be trusted. They each have an agenda. However, the worst are the reflective doors leading into the mall. They are not mirrors at all, but they irresponsibly play the role anyway, distorting all, knowing in the end, the person walking towards them, is the exact one they will turn their backs on as soon as he/she reaches out a hand in greeting.

And so, in the name of progress, I regretfully removed my mirror and placed in on the floor of the hallway where I plan to sit and keep doing my beauty routine in the morning while waiting on the new mirror. It did not come down easily. It took some prying. This should have been a major clue.

From the first time I sat in front of it, I could tell my mirror was not happy with its demotion.

Its displeasure showed upon my face.

Suddenly, a wrinkle appeared on my face where no wrinkle had ever appeared before. I leaned forward and rubbed the mirror at that spot, sure it was damage to its surface from the move. The wily mirror was faster than I was, and moved the wrinkle to my face again. Then it gave me a view of my neck that I had never seen before Judging by the extra skin it added and the blotchiness it included, it was really getting upset with its change in status. I just know skin tags and errant, coarse wild hairs are next, so I’ve got to move fast.

I have no choice but to seek out a new mirror now-- a trophy mirror if you will-- new, shiny, willing to have a long-term relationship with an older woman and enjoy it. It must be positive and uplifting, optimistic and polite, hanging around for years, doing its job with kindness and empathy.

Most of all, while it frames this ever-changing picture, it must never forget to seek out, find, and acknowledge the young girl I know is still there, shining through my eyes and living in my heart.

Interviews begin this weekend.


61 comments:

Old Kitty said...

Your old trusty mirror still loves you!!! :-)

I can't do without mirrors - full length one preferably - I need to know my reflection is HAPPY before I impose my presence outside of my front door!

Good luck with your search for that perfect mirror friend!

Take care
x

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Ask lots of questions during those interviews!

Copyboy said...

Just do me a favor. Before you replace the other mirror, take the old one out for dinner. Order a fine bottle of wine, and let that mirror down gently. 18 years of service is deserving of that type of treatment.

Lin said...

Oh, it turned on you! Hell hath no fury like a mirror scorned.

Actually any mirror will do--it's its partner, lighting, that will expose you every time.

Catherine said...

sigh...

You are describing what I see in the mornings too my friend.

I think you are right though ~ the young girl is still there!

Happy Day
xo Catherine

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Best of luck with your new mirror. Perhaps you can bribe it to work with the old mirror to display your 18 year ago image. Maybe your toothbrush holder can act as mediator an broker the deal for you.

Nat said...

So that's why my butt looks so big in department store mirrors, but never quite as bad in my trusty old one back home :)
May the new mirror bring you 7 years of good luck, and no wrinkles!

Mamma has spoken said...

I'll never look in my mirror the same way again!

Madi and Mom said...

BB your ode to your mirror was touching!!! LOL Mirrors must be treated with respect and love at all times...they are all powerful.
When we were preparing to close on our home 26 years ago...a missing mirror ALMOST brought the closing to a halt. Yep here in NC at that time one could not close on a home if there wasn't a mirror in each bathroom. Madi and Mom

Lora said...

i loved this! and i may have to replace a few mirrors now ;)

Leah J. Utas said...

Your mirror must be made to understand you will always love it. As to the new one, be very careful what you ask and listen carefully to its answers. They new ones have a nasty streak.

Flartus said...

Please let us know if you find a source for mirrors that show one's interior beauty. Won't that make your old mirror jealous??

Out on the prairie said...

Charming post, wait....have you tried the Mirror, Mirror on the wall with it?You may want to put a new frame around this treasure.I may have to go look in mine for a bit, where does that saggy skin start?

Joe Cap said...

I hope that lady in the picture isn't about to cut some lines on that mirror...why else would she have laid it flat on the table???

CherylK said...

I've had an issue with my own two bathroom mirrors, lately, so I know whereof you speak. One of them is much kinder than the other. I hate to say that lighting is involved, here, but I'm afraid it's the truth..."sigh".

Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

Suddenly you're a cougar. I think this is how it starts.

Mellisa Rock said...

I am so glad that you are going through this first - once we get our loan approved the first thing to go is my bathroom - it's hideous I tell ya. I am reading, learning and retaining!

Momma Fargo said...

Great post! When you find the perfect mirror, let me know, so I can replace mine as well. LOL

baygirl32 said...

Good luck interviewing those mirrors. They are prone to putting on a good face in public, but then when you get them home you seem them in a different light.

Happy Homemaker said...

Thanks for bringing my attention to my forgiving mirror, who sees me for who I see myself as, you know, Catherine Zeta Jones!

Velvet Over Steel said...

The 'young girl' is still there inside of us and inside of old friends of 18 years. Absolutely! It would be a sad and reflextion day for me too!!

You wrote this so well! What a creative writer you are!! I loved this post!

HUGS,
Coreen

Sarah said...

As I get older the 'downward' looking mirrors are getting meaner. Even the car door window reflection has a nasty attitude now.

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

Oh, boy. Now I know to never put my mirror on the floor. The vertical reflection is hard enough to accept some days. I do hope you'll introduce us to your new friend when you find him or her. :)

Writing Without Periods! said...

I dig this post. It's so true. I'm terribly shaken when I catch a glance of myself in the rear-view or side mirrors in my car in the bright of day...I immediately head for the champagne bottle.
Mary

Baby Sister said...

I wish you all the luck in the world. Good mirrors are hard to find these days. Don't sell yourself short!!

Liz said...

Do you think they have an eMirror.com like they have eHarmony.com? Pair you up with a perfect mirror like eHarmony pairs you up with perfect mate?

Brian said...

Mirror, mirror on the floor,
Bossy Betty is one to adore!

Pearl said...

Oh, you are absolutely right! :-)

Pearl

scrapwordsmom said...

So it's just crazy, Betty that you called Dave "Domino Dave" That has been his name since we met...everyone calls him that!!;)

Pat Tillett said...

Mirrors can be so cruel...
It's a good thing I have no reflection.

This was a great post Betty!

Ann said...

My mirror turned on me years ago but I keep it around just to torture it

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

I like your personification of the mirror- and your use of foolhardy!

You do make me smile Betty!

Beth Zimmerman said...

You are amazing and I hope you find a mirror that tells you that daily!

Debbie said...

I have a great mirror! Either that or it is possible I hung a photo of Angelina Jolie above the sink and pretend it is a mirror. Either way - it works!

A girl needs 2 Talk said...

There is this blog friend of mine who spray paints everything to make it new. Don't give away the mirror. Spray paint it to match!

Sandra said...

I think Home Depot sells mirrors that do not show any wrinkles and sags in the skin!

Kazzy said...

Total love/hate thing with mirrors. I like them now that I have dropped weight, but usually I can't stand the things.

Jane said...

This is a really great story and I love the imagery of you and your mirror. Good luck finding another one. I don't have a particularly adverse relationship with any mirror in the downtown condo, so long as I don't dwell too long in front of one!

Jane

Patti Lacy said...

Great snapshot!
I ALWAYS avoid mirrors.

Yuck.

It has something to do with a minds-eye memory of my 4th grade picture!!

Blessings,
Patti

BECKY said...

Too funny!! And yes, I totally agree on those awful, hateful department store, dressing room mirrors!!! Aaaccckkkkk!!

faye said...

I gave up on mirrors ages ago..
we were never that close.
But you should hang on to your old
friend and not be swayed by a new
kid on the block, er wall....

Joyful said...

Hilarious, and sadly true, what you say about mirrors. I hope your new mirror will become your new best friend ;-)

Marlene said...

LOL!!!!!! I just plucked an "errant chin hair". That's it!!! I need a new mirror!!!!!! I knew there was a good reason why I should come and read today's post! (As if I ever miss coming here).

JODI said...

I must say the original mirrors to the bathrooms in our home were all to happy to be demoted...they realized they were old pieces of, of, of crap. Know if you want to talk shower heads, that is a realation that I have had lots of trouble conforming to in all the bathroom renovations we have done.

Medeia Sharif said...

My bathroom mirror is so flattering. Or maybe it's the lighting. I won't get rid of either one.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

What a great ending to this piece! I'd like to find a trophy mirror too, but I don't suppose the mall is a great place to shop for one. Do forward any leads.
xoRobyn

Zuzana said...

Oh, I truly enjoyed your take on mirrors.;) I guess we were on the same wavelength this past week, but I must say I so enjoyed reading your down to earth narrative.;))
xoxo

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Great post! I have a mirror like that but it's over a hundred years old so slightly older than me!

By the way, I love your profile description; it sounds very much like the person I shall become one day!

CJ xx

Pat said...

This was a great post!

My bedroom is covered in mirrors. I am not a clown. I do not live in a funhouse. My trailer's bedroom has mirrors. You know. To make a small space seem BIG. So the closet doors are mirrors. There's a mirror instead of a headboard. And the vanity/sink is right in the bedroom, and of course, there's a mirror above the sink. How do I deal with all of these mirrors? Why I just take my glasses off. Then I just see a big beige blob moving around. I don't have to acknowledge that it's me.

Tracy said...

Don't buy the one in the photo unless you want to start chain smoking and look like Bette Davis.

And please remind HOB that breaking one means 7 years of bad luck. It's not retroactive!

Sniffles and Smiles said...

You are BRILLIANT!!! I love this!!! Interviews for the "Mirror, Mirror on the wall!!" ROFL...Fantastic piece of writing...but of course, I'd expect nothing less that that from you!! ~Janine XOXO

Gigi said...

Oh those mirrors - they will turn on you in an instant if you aren't careful. Make sure that the new one is a bit less bitchy.

Seams Inspired said...

Well, don't turn your back on that mirror! There's nothing worse than finding your Mom's Bum where your cute bee-hind used to be. ;o) Happy Mirror Hunting! :o) Larri at Seams Inspired

LittleSilkDress said...

I would love to be a fly on the wall for those interviews... :)

Cheeseboy said...

Wow, that mirror and you are TIGHT! We recently got rid of our mirror in our bathroom that had to be the original one of the house. The house was built in 1951.

Jimmy said...

Maybe thats my problem here Betty, the guy looking back from my mirror is way older than the one I remember.

Can I sit in on your mirror interviews? :)

Daisy said...

This post made me laugh out loud, Betty! I hate the mirrors in changing rooms at department stores. They are all a bunch of liars in my opinion. :-D

KLZ said...

I am positive that the previous owners of this home stole the full length mirror in the bathroom, the one that stares me in the face when I get out of the shower, from a department store.

THAT'S how mean it is to me. It's giving me a complex.

Green Monkey said...

whatever you do...never, never look down at yourself in the mirror...

I did it one night, after wine

and I found

my mother looking back at me


while at burning man, I had no full length mirror - it was wonderful! very freeing... I forgot about my back fat, and my cellulite! it was as though the dust had erased it all. (note to self, turn this into blog post)

Betty, I have a lot of you to catch up with and I'm enjoying every minute of it!

Poetic Shutterbug said...

First, mirrors in any retail establishment are NEVER to be trusted. They lie and lie.

Now I'll get a little zen. Your mirror at home is your intuitive self whispering in your ear - whatever that means :D

Sandy said...

Wowwee you can write!! I love your blog thanks to RHR for finding you.
I totally understand the old mirror relationship. funny how we form bonds with non living objects.
I vote for putting your old mirror in a closet or somewhere where you can visit when you want.
xoxo Sandy