Thursday, July 22, 2010

Would You Like Some Whine With That?

Smaller batch of bananas today, more tastefully displayed, indicating a slow, but certain progression towards sanity.


A note before we begin: Have you ever been to a party at which people who love wine gather and begin to speak of their favorite vintages? They go and on in minute detail, using obscure language and bringing up arcane facts.

Is that not a living hell to those of us who do not know anything about or (gasp!) do not care anything about wine?

Well, Betty is about to have an intense, one-sided conversation about her computer woes. My advice is to smile and nod occasionally throughout the post and think about something else, something that interests you more than my computer issues--something like how on earth you are going to get the mold out of your shower, or the different methods of folding socks.



The knob on my head!

It grows.

It grows.

As you know, for some wild and wacky reason AOL refused to appear on my computer yesterday. Like the diva who refused to come out of her dressing room, it steadfastly remained hidden behind closed doors.

I went to the genius bar and waiting for my assigned genius. He determined that my flash drive had not been updated, He whipped around my computer like a real pro, pushing this button, pressing that, bringing up screens that no man had ever seen before. He fixed it! I saw my AOL mail! I squealed with delight! I clapped my hands! I kissed him full on the lips! (a bit of exaggeration used here by the author for effect only)

I came home. I turned on my computer, excited and happy!

No AOL. None. The computer acted just like it had before the trip, like I had not just taken it for a nice ride, dinner with a genius, and a dinner out.

There I sat, whacking away on buttons, just like before, refusing to give up.

Oh, the knob! The hideous knob!

THEN, THEN, I went to the mail feature on the Mac that I had never used before. Genius Boy said I could get my mail there and it was there but it mysteriously refused to open the EXACT mail that I wanted to see! It opened all the boring stuff, all the spam, but when I clicked on one from a friend or a relative, it froze up.

A girl could get a complex.

Evan has worked on the problem. HOB has worked on the problem. Betty has flung herself around on the couch and howled, but now it is time to grow up and move on. I am transferring all my mail to g-mail.

I will go on.

I will.

I must.

Perhaps this is a lesson I must learn. I must leave the familiar and forge onward.

Yes, I've have my AOL account for years and years and I will miss the oaky, bass-note solidity of the mysterious aftertaste of that brawny, full-bodied e-mail. Now, however, it is time to experience the new, fruity, high-noted sensation of a new e-mail account. Playful, yet authoritative. Inexperienced, yet brave with just a hint of rebelliousness.

Oh! I see you looking at your watches! Must you leave the post so early? Are you sure?

Well, if you must! I really hope next time I can talk about how the different e-mail accounts age their mail and the different methods of opening mail for best reading.

Oh! You really are running now! Bye, bye! See you soon!



49 comments:

Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said...

how frustrating! I feel your pain...you're smarter than I am because I would stupidly continue to be stubborn about it and drive myself crazy. :-)

Piedmont Writer said...

Just enough of a fruity whine there Betty to be lightly humourous. Loved it.

Tabor said...

Nicely written!! Fun to read!! Not at all a bore...but sorry for you PC problems. I still have a few of my own.

Old Kitty said...

But why is your aol email account being so silly?? Why BB why?!?! I want to know!! I tried to change my aol email account once and went to yahoo only to return with tail between my legs... gmail?? Oh ok, only if you are really really sure!!!

I love wine, me! But only to drink. Not to wax lyrical about.

And the nanas of yesterday was probably more edible than the one pictured here! Who was it that said a banana is ripened properly if it's got those brown dots on it???? It's true!!

Take care
x

Madi and Mom said...

BB to you we say "Bless your heart"!!
Here in the South that fixes
EVERYTHING!!
LOL
Madi and Mom

Melly said...

Honestly, you're probably better off with gmail anyway. AOL can suck it. :P

patti said...

HAD to meet Bossy Betty up close and in person!

Sigh. My computer and I have a love-hate thing as well.
My tip? Find a GOOD computer man, get hubby to write check promptly, and have his favorite chocolate chips cooling on the rack when he is doing his nerdy thing.

Thanks for stopping by Jennifer's! Would love to become bloggites--hope you stop by wwww.pattilacy.com/blog when you're computer's fixed! LOL

Nat said...

Oh no! Poor Betty!
At least you manage to keep your sense of humour through aversity, and entertain us :-)

Gigi said...

Love how you intertwined the wine snob with the computer stuff. Brilliant!!! I enjoyed reading this post immensely!

Joe Cap said...

Uh...I stopped reading when I got to the part where you kissed him full on the lips...I was afraid to go any farther...

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

I hope your computer disease isn't contagious, because my computer is really delicate.

Aging Mommy said...

May I just say that the parties I go to these days tend to be Dora themed or Cars themed and the party goers all run around screaming and squealing in delight before messily devouring pizza and cake.

So a night with wine buffs would be a welcome change, especially after my second glass as I would by then have completely zoned out the wine talk :-)

Great post!

Baby Sister said...

Some would say the problem is that you have a Mac computer...*cough* Just thought I'd throw that out there.
I'm sorry that your computer was giving you fits and wouldn't resolve!! That is the worst!!
But at least you can be funny at the same time! :)
Enjoy the freshness of a new email while it lasts!

Christina Lee said...

...and the cabernets grapes are growing so nicely in southern cali this time of year... ;-)

Um we did this same thing this year- we changed everything to gmail (from ameritech)and are happy campers (mostly). Good luck!

Mamma has spoken said...

I feel your pain. They changed the way we get our work e-mails and I.HATE.IT. I want to go back to the old way of email. Wonder if the state of KY is listening to me....

Talli Roland said...

Oh no... I hate hate hate hate it when things like that happen (yes, I said it yesterday, and I'll say it again!).

Good luck Betty! Have some wine. For real.

liz said...

Oh no, BB! I hope you don't blow your lid!! Good luck!

slommler said...

It is dastardly for sure!! That AOL was out to get you and ruin you joyousness!!! Well good for you for dumping it and transferring to Gmail! I have a Gmail acct. and it works great! Just takes some getting used too!!
You will survive!! Sorry your knob has increased in size...try a hat...a low riding hat.
Hugs
SueAnn

Marlene said...

Gmail rocks! Come on over to the dark side! Bwaahaahaaaahaahaaa!!!

Tabitha said...

AOL was the source of many frustrating days for 6 full years and then I wised up and moved to gmail as well..I noticed once I removed the AOL program my computer ran more efficiently. (=

Ms. Anthropy said...

I experienced my first problem with email today, but it wasn't MY computer, it was yahoo. Thank goodness. I understand the frustration with computer issues. They can really wreck a mood. Good luck.

sherri said...

I love wine, but never talk about it. Unless I need more from the store, then I'm yapping up a storm. AOL is um, well they uh, how do I pu this? I know you don't care for profanity and every word I'm thinking to describe them isn't clean, so let's just say this. Good decision!

Sarah said...

Welcome to free emails! I fixed my computer problems as well. Sort of. I have to run it under safe mode. I'll venture into normal mode today and see what happens. After I save all the files to another place of course.

Ann said...

I used AOL email for years and I do still have it but I keep it only for all the junk that I don't want cluttering up my in box. Now the only people who I get email from are those I want to get email from. I switched to using Outlook express which is now Windows live mail. i like it a whole lot better.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Awful! computer issues can drive you crazy. I feel for you. Good luck, Betty.
B xx

Nezzy said...

Heeehehehe! I'm alone out here on the Pondeorsa when it comes to the computer. I am the expert and that's scary! I've spent the day redoing my blog because my background expired. Heck, I didn't know that could even happen. I so needed this laugh today girl1

Ya'll have a terrifically blessed Thursday!!!

Mike said...

Wow I couldn't handle changing off of AOL. I've been on it for over a decade now. I think about it every once in a while when I have troubles or the 10% of sites I use that are not AOL compatible. However just the email address change alone would make be suicidal.

Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

Yeah, I really do have to get going... Um, lets do this again real soon though...

Beth Zimmerman said...

Changing e-mail addresses is such a pain! I have one at my website but I just auto-forward it to g-mail and use that. It's simpler.

notesfromnadir said...

Strange that AOL wouldn't even show up! Glad you got it sorted out. I like your description about AOL being a diva who refused to come out of her dressing room!

Nicole said...

Returning the favor with a visit - and so glad I did!

Lidian said...

Your post was deliciously light and smooth, with a hint of vanilla. And furthermore, you deserve a real glass (or two) of wine after all that.

Lourie said...

What makes it so annoying was that genius boy or whatever they are called found it and had it running. Sorry.

Michelle Faith said...

You crack me up! Even dull posts about email hell are funny commin from you. I hate that my 12 year old knows more about computers then I do "just hit esc mom" e-s-c "no, the excape key on the upper right"...duh.

Dreamfarm Girl said...

I stayed till the end; I felt your pain; I even laughed at it, ahem, I mean with you. I'm a gmail girl. It's okay. No oakey basstones though!

Daisy said...

Betty, you're such a delight. Even through your woes you manage to make me laugh. I hope the new email will be all that you wish for. So sorry the old one is being so persnickety.

Alissa said...

The other night my father spent a good ten minutes fighting with his computer to get messages he was opening in Gmail actually have the little button that says "display images" so that the image would display. When he finally (by random chance) figured out he declared himself a genius, and suggested I tell everyone I know that my father is a genius.

Michelle said...

You crack me up! That happened to the hubbs when we were in the hospital when Avery was born and he had to go to gmail too, he seems pretty happy with everything.

Cheeseboy said...

Like I've said, I was amazed that someone still actually had AOL accounts. I think you were probably the last one.

Gmail should treat you well, besides the loads of spam, they seem to be okay. I have gmail and yahoo, but use yahoo more.

Full on the lips probably was the most action that dude probably ever got.

A girl needs 2 Talk said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
A girl needs 2 Talk said...

I had to switch for the exact same reasons from yahoo to gmail, once upon a time. Now they BOTH function.

What can I say?

AOL will be fine in a while. Check. But this gmail will serve you well for every other similar episode!

blueviolet said...

I had forgotten about AOL! Maybe you should too. ;)

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Hi There, I enjoy reading your blog... You are a good writer ---and can say things in the right way... I love your humor....

I agree about 'whine'..... We don't drink the stuff either--and I know ZILCH about it...

Sorry about your AOL/computer problems. I know how frustrating that can be.... Hope things work out for you.
Hugs,
Betsy

Shan said...

Let me know how your AOL-free life goes. I have had a gmail account since it was beta, but I've never made the switch.

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

Hi Betty. Did you say something about wine? I like the white kind:-)

Hilary said...

Ahh Betty, you make me laugh. I thank you for that. I love your flair for true humour and faux melodrama. Sorry for the computer woes. Macs are certainly worth the occasional incompatiability. I suspet that AOL is not. You made the right choice. ;)

christine said...

I loved the analogy between
w(h)ine and pcs:-)

Whilst they are wonderful machines, pcs are capable of driving any previously sane human being round the bend, clearly a plot by extra-terrestrials to take over the world one crazy human after another.

Loved the blog:-)


http://cadugdale.blogspot.com

christine said...

BTW - I thought we were descending into geeky porno land as you kissed him full on the mouth - whew, only poetic license:)

http://cadugdale.blogspot.com

Mellisa Rock said...

I feel the same way about Yahoo and hot mail before that - I haven't moved to g-mail yet - but it seems that everyone else has.