Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Betty's Bus Pulls Into Fixation Station and Does Not Proceed.

A Clue to How Betty is Feeling Today


You know Betty does not like to complain.

Oh no. She does not. She was born to pioneer, Church of the Brethren, depression-era parents who had an amazing ability to ignore details that would detract from the daily details of life.

That twister headed our way is no excuse for you not to go to the hastily built and incredibly rickety hen house and get the eggs.

Stand up straight. No whining. You’re not hurt. Losing blood from that giant gash on your leg is actually good for you. Go stand on the grass if you’re going to insist on bleeding that much and as long as you're out there, pull those weeds that need to be pulled.

I think you get the idea.

So, yesterday started off like any other day. The bluebirds landed on my shoulders as I flung open my shutters and greeted the day. I danced into get my lovely Apple computer and opened it. In the corner of the screen was a notice for a software update. It was jumping up and down, waiting to be noticed, so I clicked on it, and let it do its thing. However, after that, I found I was unable to access AOL through Safari or through Firefox. Everything else worked, but since AOL is the e-mail account I check first thing every morning I began to fixate on this fact.

Now, having a computer problem is bad and worthy of some angst, but, really, this problem should not have thrown me off like it did. I ignored everything else and just kept trying to fix the problem. I checked Evan's computer and AOL was working on it. I read my mail there, but I still felt compelled to fix the problem on my own computer.

I stewed. I pushed buttons. I updated things that didn't even need to be updated. I installed another browser. I harassed both children to help me. I generally ignored all other parts of my life.

This went on for hours. I KNEW it was not rational, but I wouldn’t let it go. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I pretended to talk to friends and be interested in what they had to say, but in the back of my mind I was still fixating on this problem. I still had Google Mail. I still had access to my blog. It was just one e-mail account. Rationally, I knew I should move on, but I couldn’t.

Possessed.

Obsessed.

Distressed.

When I was small, my grandfather developed some sort of growth on his forehead, right between his eyes. At first, it didn’t really bother me, even when it got rather large. I just took it as part of who he was and then one day, I caught a glimpse of it from the side and I stopped, wide-eyed to observe the doorknob shaped protuberance in the middle of his forehead and then, well, from then on, that’s all I could see. I nearly developed crossed eyes staring at it. He had stark white hair and I began to wonder if he was turning into a unicorn. I examined it whenever I could, waiting, waiting for the tip of the horn to appear.

Yesterday, my computer problem turned into a giant knob on my head. I could feel it growing throughout the day, there in the forefront of my life. It consumed me.

I have a date with the Genius Bar today. Hopefully one of the geniuses will be able to fix the problem and snap me out of this. I mean, really. It’s getting ridiculous.

It worries me that I may be losing the ability to keep things in perspective. Is it just a matter of time before I become the Delta Dawn of our town?

Am I destined to be the old woman who is on the cruise ship, under the table searching for her lost french fry on the red shag rug the entire time the all-you -can-eat buffet is in effect and the major cites of the Caribbean are in view from the Lido Deck?

Do you, my dear readers, ever become fixated in this way? Does your rational mind tell your possessed mind to come off the precipice and come have a nice meal, a cool drink and just relax? Does it work?

My date with the Genius Bar is coming up soon.

I gotta go fix my bangs. They’ve got a big job to do today.

64 comments:

Ms. Anthropy said...

Oh, yes... ALL. THE. TIME! Good luck.

Piedmont Writer said...

I live my life in a fog. My fixations vary from day to day. Usually it's my WIP which is a good thing, other days, it's cleaning the house, however, neither of these last for long so I go back into the fog.

Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said...

first, I love the line "The bluebirds landed on my shoulders as I flung open my shutters and greeted the day." that cracked me up! :-)

and yes, I get fixated like that all the time. Especially when it comes to the computer!

Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

So did he become a unicorn? Now I'm fixating on that!

Madi and Mom said...

Oh my word BB!!! Mom and I feel bad for you. Mom likes her world in order too. One thing out of place tilts her universe. She tries to not let it bother her but it DOES. Just how she is. We hope you found a Genius at the Genius Bar and are able to get a grip on your world.

Madi and Mom

Tabor said...

Sounds like a rough few days. Make sure your bangs cover that growth! Yes, I am anal and fixate on EVERYTHING. I am such a joy to live with.

Melly said...

Hope your computer gets fixed soon!

Mr. Stupid said...

I hardly get fixated. Though, I hate computer problems. Hope its fixed soon.

Parsley said...

Now I'M staring at the thing on his head. My eyes are rolled in the back of their sockets just imagining it.

Nat said...

I spend a good part of each day obsessing, fixating and worrying about something...anything will set me off! Think it's a personality disorder I have, but it can also be helpful for my job, so I have to live with it :-)

Fingers crossed you get your computer sorted out soon!

Jayne said...

Haha - oh dear, this sounds like me. I also install things that don't need to be installed when I am mad angry at some part of the computer. I rather suspect I would join you searching for that lost french fry as well!

And I hate to give you something else to fixate on but blogger says you have 2 comments to this post when it is clearly lying! Blogger does this to me as well though. Sometimes I think someone at the lovely Blogger HQ is also searching for a french fry.

Jayne said...

Haha - oh dear, this sounds like me. I also install things that don't need to be installed when I am mad angry at some part of the computer. I rather suspect I would join you searching for that lost french fry as well!

And I hate to give you something else to fixate on but blogger says you have 2 comments to this post when it is clearly lying! Blogger does this to me as well though. Sometimes I think someone at the lovely Blogger HQ is also searching for a french fry.

Jayne said...

And see what happened there? I mention Blogger HQ and mysteriously post twice. I said you were lovely, Blogger HQ! *shouts to the wilderness* Oh dear.

Christina Lee said...

Oh yes yes yes! I totally get it!

Joe Cap said...

Joe's rule of thumb:

If your computer wants you to update or install something, and everything is working just fine as it is, the correct response should be "No, don't install this."

Writing Without Periods! said...

Bangs...maybe I should go and cut some. I need a change. I get everything you are saying.
Mary

Georgina Dollface said...

Me and fixation are like that **holds up crossed fingers**. The worst thing about it is that when I get into a fixation funk, I then get fixated about being fixated and around and around it goes. It's like I am standing in a puddle of mud, but I can't figure out why my feet feel cold and wet. There's no way for me to 'think' my way out of my fixation funk. I just have to let go and relax. - G

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

All the time:( I 've being having big issues with my p/c too.
Hope yours gets fixed really soon.

Hugs,
Betty xx

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dazee Dreamer said...

oh my. I WILL NOT let anything win me. OK, anything electrical. So yes, I totally understand your angst.

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

Computer issues drive me to the brink. I almost had to stop reading this because it was stressing me out! I get that way about paying bills and budgeting, too. I go over the numbers 800 times to make sure I didn't add or subtract wrong. I think I am secretly hoping that I'll find a mistake and discover that I have more money than I thought...

liz said...

Oh goodness - YES! I just CAN'T leave a problem like that alone.

blueviolet said...

When it comes to the computer, there is obsession running wild. Everything else, much more laid back.

Old Kitty said...

Oh golly BB!!!! Step away from hotmail and smell the coffee! LOL!

Oh but I do so empathise!! I do!! It's the principle of the thing - it's like WHY is everything else working but not this one?? And why is this working for others and not for me?? Why? Why?? WHY?!?!

LOL!!!

GOOD LUCK with your Genius Bar!! I know your fringe will look amazing and you'll strut your stuff and get this thing FIXED!! You go Girrrrl!!! I FEEL your pain!

Take care
x

Susan Fields said...

I hope they get it fixed so you can lost the bananas and get the bluebirds back!

Lidian said...

Ah yes, I can totally relate - am fixated on my computer and my bangs, not necessarily in that order. I hope that the Genius Bar will make everything right again on your Apple!

And your bangs will look fabulous! They will! :)

Flartus said...

I blame my mother. We both tend to come out of a deep sleep in the middle of the night, thinking things like "I have to remember to email John in the morning" or "Was that library book due last Wednesday or next week?" In the middle of the night, these things send me into a heart-pounding distress, even though I know I'll get up in the morning thinking "What the hell? It's no big deal."

So...yes.

Poetic Shutterbug said...

Free at last!!! I thought I was the only one in the world that was obsessed over computer related problems and had to hide my neurotic behaviour from the world. I am so glad I am not alone :D Here is a suggestion rather than calling on the expensive IT geniuses. Do a system restore. It should take care of the problem Now I have to search for bluebirds to cage in my yard :)

Talli Roland said...

Nothing throws me into a funk like computer problems. Seriously. I like to be able to fix things myself; to understand WHY things go wrong. Ain't gonna happen with computer issues!

Good luck Betty!

Jennifer Shirk said...

Oh gosh, yes. Sometimes I can't help myself even though in the back of my very rational mind I know I'm acting crazy. LOL
Hope your computer problems get fixed soon!

Jennifer Shirk said...

Oh gosh, yes. Sometimes I can't help myself even though in the back of my very rational mind I know I'm acting crazy. LOL
Hope your computer problems get fixed soon!

Baby Sister said...

Ummm yes...maybe...just slightly...I chalk it up to having obsessive compulsive tendencies and those tendencies not letting me let ANYTHING go.
If you find a solution, please let me know. I'll be off fixated on something...

Mamma has spoken said...

I'm having problems with my lap top too. I've had three sons look at it only to say, we don't know what's wrong with it. Fourth son is due home in two weeks and I hope and pray that he can fix it!

Ann said...

When it comes to my blog or my computer, yes I get obsessed all the time. With other things, not so much. I think I may have a problem :)

Aging Mommy said...

Oh I am definitely the obsessive type - for me it is particularly so when something needs fixing. Things break down or get broken but when they do instead of being able to just take note and move on I obsess over it and will do my utmost to get whatever it is fixed right there and then and when I can't am not happy until it is. If you find a cure please let me know, otherwise I'll meet you under the table on the cruise ship :-)

Lourie said...

Just this morning. I had to fight to get the chat room up and running. I would not let it go. So yeah, I've been there and done that.

If you are interested in the chat, just head over to my blog.

A girl needs 2 Talk said...

Will you believe this, Bet? I updated some crazy crappy adobe thing on my firefox today and it won't open my blog or my emails. I tried desperately for one and a half hour. And now, google chrome on my mac is letting me blog. You think I'll rest with google chrome?? NOT. I'm waiting to finish and attack firefox again. There has got to be a way. This is insane.

A Tale of Two Cities said...

Oh Betty,
I feel your pain. When the Mac isn't working right, I'm all in a tizzy. Thank heavens for the Genius Bar--hope they get it all sorted out!

Debi

Amy said...

OH man that is such a pain I hope it gets fixed...

I wanted to say THanks for my Birthday wish..

slommler said...

Yes! I can definitely fixate...and ignore everything else. It is not rational but there it is!!
Especially computers problems...drives me up a wall!! I won't rest until I or someone else, fixes it!! I feel your pain and your knob!
Hugs
SueAnn

The Empress said...

,,,only when it comes to the computer...

good luck with the genius bar.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hope you can access your email soon.
And I thought you had aspirations of being the crazy cat lady? I can see you now, looking for hours for cat #251...

CRAZYMOM said...

I tend to get fixated on projects, (or ignore them completely and let them drag on for months). When I fixate, oh how I fixate! Two weeks ago, I started refinishing my kitchen chairs. I can be a real perfectionist when it comes to anything artistic so I spent an entire day sanding and preparing 2 chairs. I knew I had gone too far when my husband packed the kids up and went to the store the next morning. I had gotten so caught up with my project that I had forgotten I was supposed to go to the store Saturday morning since the fridge was nearly empty and Saturday had been my first chance to go. Doh!
Let's just say, he snapped me out of it. ;)

Char said...

Too funny and yes I have been known to do the same thing from time to time. The trick is to realize it and do something about it. Have a greay day, love reading your posts!

Sarah said...

My pc won't boot at all today. Yes, I have a laptop but all the important stuff are saved on the pc. Where's the genius bar? I need to go with you!

Joann Mannix said...

Delta Dawn, what's that flower you've got on?

I am the same way, tenacious at fixing the stuck. I obsess over it. Same way on lost items, which really stinks, because my family knows this and always mentions to me the things they've misplaced.

I drive myself crazy in that way.

Gigi said...

Oh Betty! This had me rolling on the floor! Why? Because it sounds Just. Like. Me! I tell myself over and over to just let some things go and come back to them later - but I CAN'T! Am so glad to know I'm not alone with this affliction. Where's the support group sign up sheet?

Betty said...

Just ask my husband.....(it drives him NUTS)!! :)

faye said...

I am way too OCD.
Something I didn't even notice
until a co-workeer pointed out that
I always had to arrange things in
a certain way each and every shift.
Oh and that bluebird would have pooped on my head for sure....

I feel for you ... I do !!

middle child said...

Fixated? As in the checkbook being off a penny? That'd be me. Bills, money, numbers. It has to be right or I will spend eternity making it so.

Pat said...

I understand COMPLETELY. Makeup does wonders to cover that third eye on the forehead. Just ask me.

Copyboy said...

Bluebirds? Wow you really are a disney princess. As far as AOL goes I ditched them a long time ago. I had too many issues in the 90s. haha

Beth Zimmerman said...

I do that ALL the time and the occasions when I can chop it off and walk away are few and far between.

Jimmy said...

I can relate to this 100% Betty, I get started on something and I have to get it done, I am still in the process of building that chicken pen and Cindy will be so happy when it's done because then I may relax, the coop is done so little Betty will have a new home real soon :)

Marlene said...

Ugh. Computer issues. I feel for you. Been there, done that.

I thought Apples never got sick!?

Green Monkey said...

OH Betty..... !!!

where did the cruise ship/french fry/red shag rug come from?? HYSTERICAL!

you and those bangs!

Daisy said...

Oh dear. I hope it is fixed by now. Yes, I have times when I lose all sight of everything except whatever it is that is bothering me. Drive myself crazy. Makes no sense. Good luck to you.

Julie said...

I'm having a hard time not fixating on the large protruding door knob from your grandfather's forehead...do tell...what was it??
:)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Phew! I thought it was just me. And I know EXACTLY how you feel.... which is why I am now afraid to hit the software update button now.

Good luck at the G-Bar tomorrow. I hope it's a really easy fix... And if it'll make you feel better, I was so obsessed about fixing my computer once that I actually spent about 9 hours camped out at the G-Bar. Oy.

Good luck,
jj

Cheeseboy said...

My biggest pet peeve is gadgets that do not work right.

Is the Genius Bar like the Nerd Herd?

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I never fixate. Me, nope, don't fixate. Why do you ask? Do you think I fixate? Do I look like the fixate like person?
I hope your computer turns into a unicorn or better - it gets fixated.
xoRobyn

loveable_homebody said...

Oh, Betty. You are still an optimist, don't worry! It's normal to fixate once in a while because it's frustrating when something goes wrong because it impedes our routine function.

I think, aside from wanting to check your email, that you wanted to be able to fix it. I think it's part of your attitude: try, try, until you fix it. Perhaps part of the frustration was that you didn't know what the problem was or HOW to fix it, instead trying things randomly to see if that would help. Not knowing what's wrong, even with a simple thing, can be unnerving because it removes some of our control.

So don't worry! You're still awesome!

Pat Tillett said...

I am most certainly prone to obsessing, but before long something else comes along and I

SQUIRREL!!!

Mommy on the Spot said...

Oh no! I hope your date went well.

I sometimes feel like about certain things (like editing my pics before i order them). It's like a weird trance.