Friday, June 11, 2010

Betty JABS Her Followers With Love and Gratitude!


Hello My People!

It has not escaped Betty's attention that she has the best followers in the land. As I write this, I see I almost have the magical number of 300, so I feel the need to Give, Give, Give.

About two months ago I discovered the joy of inhaling strong glue while attaching small, shiny jewels to the bottom of service bells. Now, I would like to give three of these bells to three of my lovely commenters.

You know Betty well enough to know there are no rules here. You don't even have to be a follower though if you AREN'T a follower and you win the bell, the bell will not work. I don't exactly know why this is, but it's a scientific fact.

Now, I know from experiences in Blogland that sometimes there are giveaways on blogs and while I want to leave a comment, I really don't want to be entered in the giveaway.

Betty is here to make this awkward social situation a bit easier for you.

Here's the deal: If you want to be involved in the giveaway, simply work into your comment the name of a state that starts with an M. If you want to leave a comment but really don't care to get a bell, do not include a state that starts with an M.

Easy, fun, and not socially awkward at all!

And now for my followers who prefer to be given instructions in Courier font:

(Betty understands and accommodates different learning styles.)

If you want to be involved in the giveaway, simply work into your comment the name of a state that starts with an M. If you want to leave a comment but really don't care to get a bell, do not include a state that starts with an M.

Easy, fun, and not socially awkward at all!


Here's the original post about possible uses for these bells:


My Fabulous Idea: The JAB!

Two days after making these bells. I was in a shoe store, waiting for a full thirty seconds for the man-boy clerk to meander to the check-out stand so I could purchase my stylish new shoes when it came to me: what we really need are smaller, even more portable bells (decorated with jewels of course) that we can carry with us. I call it the Jeweled Action Bell (JAB).

Imagine: If I'd had my JAB at the store, I could have whipped it out to let the man-boy clerk know that I was ready to check out and he needed to stop conversing with the tattooed young lady in the low rise jeans immediately and come tend to me immediately and give me my over 50 discount too.

Imagine: You are in a Mexican restaurant and have sucked down your Diet Pepsi and consumed your free basket of tortilla chips in a Personal Best Time of two minutes. Simply place your JAB on the table and DING! You assist your server by letting her know you are ready for a refill. PRONTO! Oh yes, that dinging sound means the same thing in ALL languages.

Imagine: You are in a large, impersonal book store, surrounded by high shelves of complicated fiction and thick anthologies of unintelligible poetry, but you want to be in Self-Help learning how to make people be more patient and self-reliant around you. No need to wander around the store. Simply take out your JAB and DING! DING! DING! until a clerk or clerks find you and lead you to the correct location. Now that's what I call real Self-Help!

Oh yes, as soon as I find these small bells, I intend to start decorating them and going into business. Here's the blueprint for the Infomercial:

Tired of being ignored in a crowd?

Exhausted from waiting for "your turn" in a line that's way too long?

Unsure if people around you know your own sense of self-importance?


Well, now you can JAB! JAB! JAB! your way to happiness!

JAB your slow dry cleaner!

JAB the clerk at the liquor store!

JAB the entire DMV department!

But Wait!

The JAB is great for home use too!

What better way to gently, sensitively urge your significant other understand and meet your few and simple needs?

JAB at Dinner time! (As in "Where's mine?")

JAB at Laundry time! (As in "Time for someone to run my delicates and the RIGHT way for once!"

JAB at Got-to-have-me-some-lovin'-time! (As in "You know what I mean and don't mess up the hairdo this time!")

JAB really is the answer! Order yours TODAY!


Betty thanks and loves her followers!

Hope you have a happy day!

89 comments:

Mamma has spoken said...

Michican? Minnesota? Maryland? Montanta? Maine? Massachusetts? I'm really not good at these games.....

ethelmaepotter! said...

Oooh, as I collect bells, I must have one of these. I shall call mine Bossy Betty's Bodacious Bell, unless, for some strange reason, mine does not work, and then it shall be Bossy Betty's Baffling Bell.

I think you've really hit on something here. You may become a millionaire overnight. "Three easy payments of $19.99. (plus shipping and handling.) But wait! There's more! If you call within the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in a SECOND JAB for FREE! Yes, that's TWO JABS for the price of one. (plus shipping and handling. Residents of MAINE pay 7% sales tax.)"

I know I shouldn't say this, but...glue sniffing is the best! No, I've never done it enough to benefit, but it just smells so good!

Most creative post ever!

Lady Ren said...

Ha ha you are so funny! I used to live in Michigan- it's cold there in the winter.

Old Kitty said...

Manchester, England!! Merseyside, Mid-Glamorgan!

Darn it I want a bell! LOL!

Cogratulations Bossy Betty! We are so not worthy!!!

:-)

take care
x

The Retired One said...

They are so cute! and your blog post is funnier than a Minnesotian in a blizzard without a shovel. Oh, and by the way, I am from Upper Michigan. :0}

Madi and Mom said...

Morning BB,
You are absolutely hilarious...have you ever thought about having your own show? I heard a comedy club in
Mississippi was looking for a new clever, clean act that would appeal to families!!! Give it some thought.

I had to chuckle a bit this post. When my mom first came home from rehab in 2008 my Dad gave her a bell to ring when she needed him.
He said she was always misplacing the phone, the remote etc but she never misplaced the BELL aka JAB.
Hugs and Happy Weekend keep smiling,
Madi and Mom

Piedmont Writer said...

Monster Baby and I have always wanted to go to Montana and see the majestic mountains. Someday, I told her, we will. And if we had one of Betty's fabulous magic bells we could be transported instantaneously.

KLZ said...

Have you been watching me at the Mexican restaurant I frequent in Minnesota? Because I can really suck down the soda and chips.

Christina Lee said...

Aren't you CREATIVE????????????

Joe Cap said...

I think carrying these bells around to use is a GREAT idea.
However, I am also a little concerned...you haven't been sniffing TOO much of those fumes, I trust?

slommler said...

I was born in Michigan...really! Honest, I was! Flint, Michigan to be exact.
Love the bells
Hugs
SueAnn

HulaBuns said...

I could not love this post more! I want, no - need to JAB (that was my warning for what is to follow below)! :)

I was born in Wyoming, you know the state adjacent to Montana? Then moved to Michigan, which we both know is no where near Montana. Then moved to Missouri still not close to Montana but no too far from Minnesota. Eventually I moved to Kansas (or Kansaw if you pronounce it like I do). I know it wasn't a competition as to who could use states starting with the letter M the most in their comment, however I felt it was necessary to make it very obvious that one of your JABs has my name all over it (or should). ;)

Leanne said...

Betty - I just about spit out my coffee at this one (which isn't a very lady like thing to do, and it's so early in the morning!) You always start my day with a great smile!!! By the way, I would love to smile in Michigan as soon as their cherry season starts!
So great are you! (I turned into Yoda there for a minute. Did you hear it?) ;)

Sara said...

In 5th grade, we had to learn a song for a production in town. It was basically just the 50 state names in alphabetical order. Thanks to you, it's instantly stuck in my head today! :P

♪ ♫ Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraskaaaaaa, Nevadaaaaaaa...oops, got carried away.

Pearl said...

Bossy Betty, as a reader, follower, and potential acolyte, let me just say: Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Your friend in Mpls MN,
Pearl

p.s. Very funny post.

Georgina said...

Since I am Canadian, and my geography sucks (used to be that the only time I could name all the states was when I was drunk) I'll work Manitoba into my comment. Manitoba, home of the Winnipeg Ballet, The Royal Canadian Mint and the world's largest fire hydrant. (I bet you'd love to take a picture of that!) - G
Have an awesome weekend!

Feeling Just Right said...

:) Betty! 300- congratulations!

Am I allowed to say Maharashtra? That is the name of the state I live in, in India- See, you have followers far and wide!

Love the infomercial! You're so funny!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

This post puts me in a rather Manic state, thinking about bells with jewels and all, seeing that you made 300, and -to add hot fudge to the sundae- it's Friday.
Congratulations!
xoRobyn

Liz said...

I love you so much I wish I could hug and kiss you in the fabulous state of Michigan.

Marlene said...

I never need fear being in a state of MISERY when I visit here!!!! (Not to be confused with MISSOURI, which I've also visited, but isn't nearly as sunny as Betty's blog!)

Still laughing!!!!!!

Lydia Kang said...

Congrats on the faboo 300!!!
Where were you born? I was born in Maryland.
(lame, I know!)

Katie's Dailies said...

We went to Branson, Missouri a couple years ago, but decided that we really didn't like Branson, Missouri because Branson, Missouri is really like Hillbilly Paradise.

I could've used these bells to JAB all those hillbillies and rednecks over to Maine, Michigan, Montana, Minnesota and Mississippi!

Can you tell I really like that bell?

Anjanette said...

I have always wanted to visit Massachusetts in the Fall. Thanks for all of the fun reading!

Shannon O'Donnell said...

You are too hilarious for words! Ha ha ha. Have I told you that I live in Montana, the very best state beginning with an M?! :-)

Vodka Logic said...

What a fun idea and it would be very helpful in my state of Massachusetts...

xx

Betty said...

I just found your blog from a comment you made on another blog. Of course any blog with the same name I have comes to my attention. I am pretty bossy myself, so I just knew I had to check your blog out. :)
I´ve become a new follower and hope to get to know you better.
Oh and the bells? Not sure if you include international readers, but if so......I would like to visit Michigan someday. :)

Poetic Shutterbug said...

You are hilarious my friend. Minnesota has fond memories for me, not because I have ever lived or been there but know people from there.

KleinsteMotte said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KleinsteMotte said...

You have created a brilliant post. I love some of the comments too! Now let's just try a province, Manitoba since we don't have states. Hehehehe.. I chuckle to think up uses for JAB. One question; What will the security folks at an airport think if I have this in my purse? Will they allow it?? LOL I'm going to share this one with my Buddy Betty. Thanks.

Writing Without Periods! said...

Mevada. I live there! :-)
Sincerely,
Nary. :-)

Noelle said...

Thank you so much for putting the instructions in courier font too...I wouldn't have understood without it! :)

ModernMom said...

Congrats on all your followers!

Talli Roland said...

Betty you are so funny! I love the Courier instructions. And... Massachusetts rocks!

Aging Mommy said...

When I started reading this post I could not think why anyone would want one of these bells, but then I got to the original part and it all made absolute sense. I completely love it!

I would advise against going to England, France, Italy, Greece or indeed most of Europe for a dining tour, not even a multitude of those little bells will get your meal or check delivered any faster.

Ann said...

Betty you are just so darn creative with your giveaways. Ingenious I tell you. By the way did you know that I don't live that far away from Michigan? :)

Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

The JAB does sound wonderful and useful and lovely. And I'm glad you acknowledged that giveaway awkwardness because I live in Pennsylvania and I'm completely comfortable with having someone else take home the prize!

Mike said...

I could trade my plain looking bell with one of your pretty ones. Oh yeah, the only state I've been in that starts with M is Massachusetts. Oh wait I drive through Maryland all the time.

baygirl32 said...

I laughed so hard at this post! I can think o f soooo many things that I would love to JAB!!

I know a province that starts with M...Manitoba (does that count?)

Sonora said...

What a brilliant idea! I love all of your situations where it could be useful. My husband is from Montana and he would love this idea. (he really is from Montana and really would love this idea, but that was my sly, not socially awkward at all entry.) :)

Jimmy said...

Not too sure about sniffing glue especially at the bottom of a bell, I once saw a Mississippi Belle at a ball swinging a bell like a bat and thought to myself is this fresh glue at the bottom of the bell or am I just rambling thinking why the heck is this Belle swinging that Bell at the Ball.

She looked at me and went into a short lecture on how I shouldn't even consider sniffing glue especially before it was completely dry because then the jewels from the service bell would be stuck exactly where you didn't want them.

I think that was just a JAB at the jewels on my nose :^)

Joann Mannix said...

You know what Betty?

My headache is still there a tad bit, making my thought process a little fuzzy. When I saw the reemergence of your bells I grew quite excited because I do so love your handmade bells. I immediately thought, I'll tell her I'm going to Mexico in September and I'm praying I don't get kidnapped by drug lords. And then I thought: Oops, Mexico is not a state like Mississippi. And I blamed it on my headache, but it might just be because of my blondeness.

faye said...

Just how much glue did you sniff ??
And why the letter M...
Michigan over Florida.... you know that never happens !!!

Pat said...

300 followers? Yowzer! What an accomplishment! Does that mean I'd have to make some kind of craft to attract more followers? Unfortunately I can only glue some Popsicle sticks together, and who wants something like that unless it's from their own kid?

I've traveled to Montana, Minnesota, Maryland, Missouri, and Mississippi, and I ain't NEVER seen a bell as pretty as that!

Ashley King said...

i absolutely LOVE your blog...
you are great, and your ideas are awesome! =)

Talei said...

Congrats on all your lovely followers! JAB - I really want to visit Massachusetts!! ;)

Brian said...

A friend at work owns a timeshare, and when she books her annual vacation, she often invites friends to stay for free, as she generally gets units with three or four bedrooms. Last year, I went along to Maui, using frequent flier miles, and thus I had an essentially free Hawaiian vacation. How about that? This year she is going to Yellowstone, and I hope I can take some vacation time to spend a few days there, as well. I just can't decide whether to fly or drive. You see, I've always wanted to see those states whence my family came, and this would best be accomplished by car. I don't relish the idea of driving the entire width of North Dakota to get to Grand Forks, where my parents lived until 1952, and where all three of my sisters were born (they then moved to Seattle, Washington, and lived there for a couple of years before heading south to Hollywood, where I was eventually born. My father made a point of telling me the year before he died that I was planned. Funny, it had never occurred to me that I might be an accident -- I never questioned the conditional nature of my existence). But at least from there it's not too far to Coon Creek, where my great-grandfather homesteaded in the 1880's (think of German people in the background scenes of Little House on the Prairie), and where he raised his family and lived until his death in 1908 (from TB, sure glad they got that one under control, except you occasionally hear about some new drug-resistant strain, and this scares the crap out of me). My grandfather Anton married Ann, the girl on the next farm over, and my father was the fifth of eight children. Sadly, the oldest, Marvin, died from an accidental gunshot would at the age of sixteen. Actually, I may be thinking of a brother of my grandfather. Whatever. Oh yeah, Coon's Creek is in southern Minnesota.

Barb said...

Hi Betty,

Now that was funny. While i shake my tail feathers, I'm thinking of Michigan (where I'm from).
This comment is bizarre but since you visited today, you understand.

Have a wonderful weekend.

hugs,
Barb

Gigi said...

This was too, too funny and very, very clever! Occasionally, I could use one of those bells - when they ignore me yelling loudly, "I could use some SERVICE over here!" But unfortunately, I live in North Carolina....

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

Did I ever tell you taht I am from MAINE????? And I want a bell just to remind me of you because truth be told I will not carry it around in my pocketbook in order to assail the unsuspecting public. I will put it on my bookshelf next to all my Ann Tyler books because I know we both love her. I am not sure but I suspect you might like Alice Hoffman, too, and they are on the same shelf because, Betty, I am very attentive to the bookshelves, although in my world the laundry can wait. Then again, just thinking out loud, I do have a lot of kids. They could use a good jab. So there's that. Don't want you think it would never be used.

Michelle Faith said...

ROFL!!! "don't mess up the hairdo this time" I was cracking up so bad my son asked me "whats so dang funny?"

Hey I need one of them...JAB! JAB! JAB! Did you know I grew up in Brainerd MN.?

Sniffles and Smiles said...

ooh, Betty! You are so creative, and soo hilariously witty!! I do so love your blog!! You always bring me a smile!!! I'm not much into giveaways, and so I'm glad it's not required...but I think your bells are fabulous, and know that one of your followers will be a lucky winner!!! Have a fantastic weekend!! Love to you! Janine XO

Joe Cap said...

Hey, Sara, my daughter learned that '50 Nifty United States' song in 5'th grade, so I know that song well!
I love how you typed the...
Nevadaaaaaaa.... part...that is exactly how my daughter used to say it!

SquirrelQueen said...

Congrats on the fabulous 300 BB!

One of those little JAB units would have come in really handy last month as we traveled through Idaho on our way to Montana. The service in one of the restaurants was slower than molasses on a cold day.

Have a Fab weekend!

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Hi Betty, You aren't really BOSSY are you?????? ha ha ... Thanks for visiting my blog. I hope you come back often. I am going to take some time and read some of your posts...

I no longer participate in giveaways or tags or awards... I did that the first year I blogged --but just cannot keep up with all of that stuff now. I have a hard enough time keeping up with what I do now!!!! ha

Come back and visit again soon... I usually blog every week day and take the weekends off.

Hugs,
Betsy

arlee bird said...

Now that's a different way of celebrating and doing a give-away. And what do you mean about getting more popular? Look at all the responses you got here. You must be the most popular blogger in Texas, or Kansas, or Vermont, or wherever it is you are.

Lee
Tossing It Out

Lourie said...

My husband is from Michigan...and maybe it has nothing to do with Michigan as a state, maybe it is just a man thing, but I need a bell to prod him. haha.

jovan said...

hi there ^^! warm greeting 0_0
you have a nice blog!

by the way, if you need to find Unique Fonts, you can visit our website.

best regards.

Ms. Anthropy said...

I don't need a bell, my voice is loud enough... but, I might need to try that glue!

The Empress said...

I want one. I just do. I never get anything I want.

Reason enough.

Thank you, Betty.

Jenny said...

Those bells really are adorable but I have so many things that I don't think I have any more space left in my house for anything else ;-) Okay maybe I do.....

Maine

Have a great weekend and loved the post!!!!

whitaker imagery said...

Betty, I just found your blog after a comment you left re: portraits I did at my cousin Lee's farm in Maine and am so becoming a follower now! These bells are so darn super cute ....I am in love <3 ~deb

Nicolasa said...

Those bells are great Betty! I wish you lived closer, like maybe in Massachusetts so that we could get together and make some bells together! :-)

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

WOW!, Betty, you're so innovative and creative as every Betty should be. LOL!
Your ideas are always great!
What a great blogger and teacher you are!!
Congrats on 300!
Have a happy and productive weekend!
B xx

Mellisa Rock said...

Wonder If the JAB works on children? Love your blog, this post and I need a bell!!!

Maine -

Congrats on 300 followers!! You deserve everyone of them!!

Mellisa Rock said...

Wonder If the JAB works on children? Love your blog, this post and I need a bell!!!

Maine -

Congrats on 300 followers!! You deserve everyone of them!!

Linda said...

Good Morning from rainy Michigan. You are so very imaginative. You come up with the best projects. These bells are so very nice. I can see how much work you've put into them.

Susan Fields said...

Hey Betty, have I ever mentioned that I live in Missouri?

Great idea - I get so tired of waiting for the waiter to fill up my basket of chips. :)

Shannon said...

I love your creative ideas! :)

Have a fantastic weekend!

Lin said...

Betty--I'm not sure I really wanna win one of these because I could become downright obnoxious (well, MORE obnoxious than I already am) if I had one of these bad boys in my purse. I do love your scenarios though--I've been there.

Glad you found me--I love your blog! I hope you don't get bored and fall asleep by mine in comparison. :)

SogniSorrisi said...

I wonder if these bells work with husbands, too...?

christine said...

Love your blog, first time I've tuned in from Manchester way, England. Maine-be I'll call back again to join you:-)

Cheers, happy glueing (is there any other kind?)

Christine:-)

Call in for a chat with me! Christine's Chatter is at :-
http://cadugdale.blogspot.com

Hilary said...

Clever, creative you. What a great idea. I'd love one of your wonderful bells and promise to Maine-tain its functionality should I be one of the lucky winners.

Daisy said...

You are so clever and you make me laugh! Thanks! :D

Alyssa said...

I'm too busy trying to figure out how I ever lived without one to try to name a state that begins with M. Madness? Maybe?

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I just found your blog and find your blog and find you utterly hilarious.

Venassa said...

I've always wanted to go to Montanna. Those bells are awesome. I've always wanted something like that for work, cause people sneak up on me when I'm in the office and I don't hear/see them.

Kazzy said...

I'll bet my poor immigrant grandparents in Massachusetts would have loved to ring that bell and had someone serve them!

Beth Zimmerman said...

I didn't think I needed a JAB until I read your infomercial. Now I need one post-haste! Did I mention that I grew up in Maine?

Beth Zimmerman said...

I didn't think I needed a JAB until I read your infomercial. Now I need one post-haste! Did I mention that I grew up in Maine?

Alissa said...

I love this fun and original giveaway. Also, for reasons that are not entirely clear many of my family members live in Maine.

Joyful said...

Very funny~good luck to all who participate in the giveaway :-)

Joyful said...

Ooops...I should clarify that I meant your creative ideas for when to use the JAB, were very funny ;-) Have a great weekend.

Jingle said...

brilliant way to impress and entertain your people...
Happy Sunday!

Michelle said...

Congrats on 300! I love the bells and remember that post- that could really come in handy!!

Oh yeah... Montana lol

Ally said...

congrats on 300 followers, you deserve every single one and more.

i remember the bell post! did you know that i spent freshman year at a state college in massachusetts? just saying :)

Maggi said...

These are awesome!!! I would love to JAB a waiter in Maryland...wait, that just sounds dirty...:P

sherri said...

I prefer all instructions in courier font, thanks for acknowledging that. A bell in my house would be rung so much by my preschoolers I would want to wring something on them, so no M. words here. congrats on 300+ followers! proud to be among them!

Trisha Dawn said...

I guess family is probably exempt, right? That's okay, I'm not technically a follower anyway, so I really don't want a bell that doesn't work, although my husband is from the lovely state of Mississippi. (And you do know how much that precious state means to me.)

Shan said...

I read the title of your post last week (not sure how I neglected to actually read *the post*, but I'm blaming our house of yuck and a periodically moody computer). I kept thinking it was going to have something to do with an All Jab.

:+)