Sunday, October 4, 2009

Decisions, Decisions

OK, so which Cartwright male would you choose? This decision has occupied a great deal of cranial space over Betty's lifetime. It was temporarily dormant, leaving time to make other important life decisions, but was reignited this morning while flipping through TV channels.

Adam, of course, is the dreamy oldest, but he's a little too serious for me. Tightly wound, he could never let loose, even in the light-hearted denouement scenes.

Hoss had that sweet heart, but a Rhodes Scholar, he was not. Looks? Well, since all the boys had different mothers, we're going to have to assume there was a shortage of fine looking women during this phase of Ben's life.****!!!**** (Sorry, Hoss.) Still, there was something about Hoss.... There was that Big Cuddly Bear quality.

Little Joe. Oh, Little Joe. Those tight pants, that passion. Even his horse was incredibly cute. As the youngest, he was prone to being a tad immature, but I think I could overlook that. (Did I mention those tight pants?)

I think it is a sign of aging that I never used to even consider Ben, but now he's starting to look pretty good. Oh dear.

On slow days I like to consider the Television Test. If sitting on the couch with one of the Cartwright males, which one would be most the most amiable TV viewing companion?

Adam--Though nice eye candy on the couch, my guess is he'd be into watching the History Channel or National Geographic and would not allow for the witty verbal bantering that Betty is known for.

Joe--Not likely to share the remote. My guess is he would want to make out during the commercials, but when Nascar came back on, he'd switch off and go right back to the screen.

Ben--Might be a good companion, but unlikely to go and fetch me snacks when I need them. Might expect me fetch him snacks. Oh no. Might pay a bit too much attention to the AARP, Scooter Store, and Cialis commercials. Disturbing.

The obvious winner in the Man Test: Television Watching Category:
Hoss--Most likely to watch Food Network with me. Most likely to fetch me snacks. Most likely to give control of remote to me. Most cuddly on the couch.

Let me know which Cartwright male you prefer and what test you would put the boys through. What? Like you have other things to do today?

***Oh my gosh! The universe gob-smacked me by showing the "Bonanza" episode in which Ben meets the mother of Hoss right after I published this post! I was SO wrong! Here's the actress Inga Swewnson who played the woman who would give birth to Hoss:

Genetics! Oh mysterious science!


Brian said...

Well, now, I wouldn't really "prefer" any of them, if you know what I mean, but my favorite was Adam, not because of anything he did on Bonanza, but for his later tenure as the star of Trapper John, MD. That was TV at its finest, and if I ever saw him on a Bonanza rerun, I'd be in foreshadowed bliss thinking about the glory that lay ahead for him.

By the way, I was back East this week, which is why you haven't heard from me. Good to be home, tuning in to BB.

Bossy Betty said...

I would have taken you for a Little Joe kind of man.

What? There's no Internet in the East?

Good to have you back!