Friday, September 25, 2009

Your Results for Bossy Betty's All-Revealing, Two-Day, Chair-Based Personality Test!

Chair #1

Strangely, exotically attractive, you seek out places to display yourself as the rare museum piece that you are. Unfortunately, that knowing look you give people as they walk by is often misinterpreted as a mental imbalance. You have daily thoughts about stuffing your cat who is equally as exotic as you are to use as a companion piece, perhaps placing his stiff, cold, but perfectly preserved body in the chair next to you. At night you often eat small individually wrapped candies in front of your glowing television.

Chair #2

Rules? You love them and there's nothing better than guiding others to live just the way you do. You are the person who automatically moves to the center of the auditorium seating and urges others to do the same. People tend to wear tight smiles around you and look at their watches when listening to you discuss your expertise at packing a suitcase. You correct people's grammar, making you very popular at parties.

Chair #3

Though you prefer to think of yourself as independent,self-reliant and self-sufficient, your chair selection points to a very clear streak of martyrism which annoys, then entertains those around you. "I'll just get my own chair," you say as you struggle with the one in the far back as you look around to make sure everyone sees your effort. You seethe when people get out a new tube of toothpaste when there is still a lentil-sized drop in there--a drop you, and only you, will strive to get you by slicing the tube with a razor blade. You just hope no one minds all the blood on the counter from nicked and damaged hands.

Chair #4

Special. That's how everyone has always described you. And you take that as the compliment it is intended to be. You tend to be a tad bit self-centered, but that's only because you deserve to be. Your mother always gave you the biggest piece of chicken. You have seat-warmers in your car. You look longingly at the fluffy, ruffly coverings they now make for shopping carts for babies and toddlers and wish they made them for theater seats for adults.

Chair #5

After burping loudly in your fifth grade classroom, your teacher took you out into the hallway and made you sit alone on the cold linoleum. She did this to punish you, but you found that you enjoyed the solitude, the cool, simplicity of the floor, causing you to begin a series of socially unacceptable behaviors in order to get back to your beloved solitude and linoleum. Unfortunately, these behaviors have now become habits which have become a part of your permanent personality.

Chair #6

Congratulations! You are well-balanced and perfectly normal. Have fun playing with your horsey.

Chair #7

You enjoy jury duty. You find waiting rooms soothing. You long to travel, to sit, facing forward on a plane, train or automobile. You were most comfortable at your wedding ceremony while facing the minister. Your options for employment are fairly limited, but there will always be benches at bus stations upon which you can spend your spare time.

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