Friday, September 11, 2009

Betty's Usually Right, Unless She's Left Her Rings At Home.

Some have described Betty as directionally challenged, but I believe that would be an overstatement.

Really, that time I got a little confused after stopping in at the rest stop at the border of Colorado and Kansas and then inadvertently proceeded back into Kansas instead of Colorado as I had planned was just a fluke. AND, it only took about thirty minutes for me to discover my error. During those thirty minutes my brain was thoroughly entertained as I contemplated why it was that the many border towns in Colorado had chosen the same names as the border towns in Kansas.

OK, well, maybe I am a bit directionally challenged.

It was just relatively recently that I discovered that some people just intuitively know their left sides from their right sides.


To find my right side I make a swift motion with my hand, bringing it to rest briefly over my heart. This comes from years of saying the Pledge of Allegiance in school. To find my left hand I simply throw my hand in front of me out to check for my wedding rings.

Before I got married I wore a ring only on my right hand, so I had to adjust to that change, but that only took me about two years. (Now that I have the whole system down, it's served as an incentive to work at my marriage, so the rings can stay in place. I really don't want to have to change the whole system again.)

Once, I got my rings on the wrong hand and I was driving when HOB said, "Go ahead and get in the left lane." I looked at my rings, and proceeded to change lanes. He said, "No! The left lane!" I shook my hand with the wedding ring on it at him and said, "I am! Look! I'm going left!" "No, you're not," he said. I shook the ring at him again. He STILL argued with me. That's when I did a quick Pledge of Allegiance test and discovered my error.

Then there was the time I was out walking and someone stopped to ask for directions. "Well," I said, "You go down this street," (hand to heart motion) "Turn right, and go about two blocks then, (wedding ring hand thrown out for assurance) turn left, then take another right," (hand to heart motion) and it should be on the left (hand thrown out in front to check for ring.) "But you may want to park on the right" (hand to heart again).

I looked at the person, expecting to see a look of comprehension tinged with gratitude and instead saw a look of confusion combined with an ample amount of pity. Apparently, he thought the person giving him directions was indeed challenged, but not only directionally so.

My system works just fine for me, though it does entail a bit of flailing about. I'd be interested in knowing how others deal with this whole left/right thing. HOB insists that it's instinctual for him, and, he adds, for the majority of the human race. True? Hummmm.... Let me know, readers.

Signing off on the left hand side of the post,
(I checked!)
Yours truly,


Trisha Dawn said...

So funny! I think there are a few of you in the family (amandamelindaprigelwiatr) but I won't name names.

Bossy Betty said...

Oh yes, I remember a fateful trip I took with Miss Amanda in Amarillo. We saw MANY areas of Amarillo that were new to both of us!


Anonymous said...

Just googled 'don't know left from right' and it came up with this post. Wow - I really recognise this problem. Like you I have good English skills (MA in English,ex-journalist) but I don't automatically know my left from my right

Bossy Betty said...

Thank you, Anonymous! I also have an MA in English and a BS in Journalism! Freaky!

Good to hear you are among the elite in the left/right thing. Oh, we ARE special!


Brian said...

it's really quite simple, Betty. Imagine you are looking straight ahead at a clock. It is exactly midnight. Imagine the second hand advancing clockwise. That is toward your right; indeed, it is right that time should move forward. Now imagine you and your clock are accelerated to nearly the speed of light, while your twin sister stays on Earth staring slack-jawed at an identical clock initially set to exactly the same time as your clock. You do some kind of big loopy-loop out there in space and careen your way back to Earth, landing abruptly next to your sister and spraying her with some kind of space slime you picked up just shy of Neptune. You both look at your clocks. Yours now mysteriously lags hers by some small amount. In other words, the second hand on your clock (which you bought second-hand) lags a bit in the counter-clockwise direction relative to your sister's clock. This is counter-intuitive. It's just not right. Ergo, it must be left.

Bossy Betty said...

This makes total sense! Thanks for the tip!!! My life will be so much easier now!

LittleSilkDress said...

My husband doesn't know his left and right, either. North, East, South, and West are not ingrained in me, even with the mountains close and always in the West. So being in the car together and giving each other directions can be a disaster. I cannot tell you how many times I've told the hubby to turn right, only to find him navigating left. Or he'll tell me to go North and I will answer with a warning scowl while continuing to go STRAIGHT. Ah, directions haha.

Bossy Betty said...

Thank you for letting me know I am not alone in the world! Fortunately, HOB has a good sense of direction, but I still tell him how I think he is going the wrong way.

Your situation is a bit more complicated. Perhaps a GPS is on your Christmas list?

Love your blog!