Sunday, August 16, 2009

Shopping With the Flying Betty

Betty Fans know I was recently encased in an airplane and whisked across the country by some fine men and women in nifty uniforms. I look forward to airline travel, not because of the magic of modern travel, but because I get to sit and read my favorite catalog, Sky Mall.

It is in this refined publication that one can sit back and enjoy reading about all the innovative products available to the well-bred, polished clientele that frequent the air waves. (They don't publish Train Mall, Bus Mall or Bike Mall if you get my drift.)

Here's just one example of the sophisticated products available:
The Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier

Improve your hearing - and enhance your image!

If a conventional hearing aid sounds like an embarrassment to you, try the Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier. It looks just like a cell phone ear adapter and works as a sound enhancer so you can join conversations and even hear soft voices from 50 feet away. Now you can enjoy the best of both worlds: a more youthful appearance and better hearing. Comes with charger (no batteries to replace) and three ear tips.

All this for only $39.99! I can't wait for this guy's Jitterbug to go off as he is leering across the table at a woman, and watch him slap it against his ear--the one with the Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier in it, permanently jamming the image-enhancing device into his ear canal.

Don't worry! I'll have more goodies from the Sky Mall coming your way soon!

Happy Sundays everybody!

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