Sunday, July 12, 2009

Day Two of My Total Domination

Even with my extreme intelligence, I still rely on basic reference books.

When I adopted these people about seven years ago, they were woefully unprepared to handle a cat of my obvious intellect and very specific needs.

I have spent a lot of time training them and while they have made some progress, it has been slow. For instance, how many times must I scratch on the door jamb before they come running to open the door? How hard can it be to respond in a prompt manner? And why must they shout my name as they run the to the door? I understand they are praising me for being such a smart cat, but I go weary of the adulation.

The bed is another matter. I do not understand how two people can take up so much space. I give them both sides of the bed, and as is appropriate, I take the center of the bed. In my opinion, I am generous to share the bed with them at all, but I sometimes hear them complaining. Please.

I will be blunt. There are times when my humans can be, how shall I say this? A little dim, obtuse, stupid, dull-witted, foolish, slow-witted, and dense. Sometimes I wonder if I should keep them at all, but then they do something worthwhile like buying me three cases of food and I find myself forgiving them their deficiencies.

Alas, even though my main human is off on vacation, there are still other humans in the house and I hear them rustling about. I must sign off now and pretend to be merely stretching out upon this computer. If they know of my abilities they will begin to rely on me too heavily and they will never learn to grow on their own.

Until tomorrow,

I'll give them my pensive look. They fall for that every time.


Happy Homemaker said...

Mabel, you think you've got it rough? I too, have human bozos as well as a dim witted canine to coexit with! At least they are feeding you the good stuff!

Happy Homemaker said...

Uhhemmm...that comment was NOT from the Happy is from ME, her cat, Tango!

GreatGranny said...

I too have a slow learner and sometimes she just asks me'OK what do you need, Kassey?' I just show her...poor

GreatGranny said...

She has finally learned a few things, but she was so slow in the beginning...Kassey