Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Day Four: I Sense the End of My Reign and Anyway, I'm Getting Bored.

Did You Hear That?

This morning I heard it: the sounds of the males of the house hurriedly cleaning up. The smell of cleaning fluid is in the air and large garbage sacks of fast food wrappers are being carried from the house. This can mean only one thing--that my main human is coming home today.

This means that my time here on the blog has come to an end and while I will miss giving you my highly sought-after advice, I must admit that this whole World Domination Through Blogging thing has really cut into my nap times. It's probably best that I hand the whole project back over to that woman who really has nothing better to do with her time. As for me, well, I've got my paws full around here just training this family to meet my needs.

I must go now. Though you humans are interesting creatures, I grow somewhat weary and bored of this simple communication method of yours.

For being faithful readers, I will share with you this one secret before I leave. Don't tell anyone else. OK, Here it is:

When you humans die and are standing at the Gates of Heaven, waiting to find out if you get in, it is the cats you have had in your life who come out and ultimately make that decision.

This is absolutely true.

Do not doubt it.

Do not gamble with this information.

Do not risk your future.

Do not forget to pick up extra cans of Fancy Feast Elegant Fare, Florentine Collection Tender Turkey and Cheddar Cheese Souffle With Garden Greens. Extra Gravy, please.

See you and yours at The Gate!


Mary said...

This is funny....you should do the "Cats on Tuesday" meme.

Shan said...

I hope that's not true. I had a cat, Cadek, whom I pawned off on my mother when my allergies meant I couldn't live with him any more. Mom's not exactly a caretaker sort. Should have asked strangers on the street. Poor cat.

GreatGranny said...

I've often wondered what Kassey is thinking and it's fun to write from a cat's perspective. I enjoyed this. Thanks for your email and please keep us up to date on your Mom.