Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Bossy Betty's Guide To Being Incredibly Popular.

A Giraffe Has No Vocal Chords

Want to be the most popular person in your work place?

Want to dazzle people at dinner parties?

Do you want people to say "WoW!!   Do you believe that guy/gal?" when you leave the room?

Do you want to have some obscure, yet fascinating facts stored in your brain so if you are ever wrongly incarcerated and put in solitary confinement for days on end you have some scraps of information to tenaciously cling to as you rock back and forth in that small, dark cubicle of hell and recite so that you don't go completely out of your mind and start eating your own skin?

Ah, yes. I knew you were that kind of upscale, discriminating reader.

So, today I went through The Ultimate Book of Useless Information by Neil Botham and have gleaned some facts for you to squirrel away in your brain and bring out at those opportune moments. Just imagine yourself at your next business meeting/ luncheon/ conference when that next awkward silence falls. You'll be the one to fill it in with statements such as:

One year contains 31,557,600 seconds.

The surface area of an average-sized brick is seventy-nine square centimeters.

Women blink twice as often as men do.

A dragonfly has a lifespan of just twenty-four hours.

Honeybees have hair on their eyes.

A pig always sleeps on its right side.

The highest-scoring three letter word in Scrabble is zax, which is a tool for cutting and trimming roof slates.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Pecans are the only food that astronauts do not have to treat and dehydrate when flying in space.

In 1977, a thirteen-year old child found a tooth growing out of his left foot.

Well, I think that's enough info to keep your brain busy for the day.

Remember, memorize these facts and blurt them out on dates and in meetings. Use them for elevator talk with complete strangers. Start conversations off with these attention-getters.

Do this for a solid week and you'll notice people start looking at you differently, giving you just a bit more space in the room, walking just a little more rapidly by when they see you approach.

That's admiration you see in their eyes!
That's respect in their observation of your personal space bubble!
That's their sincere desire to be as swift as you are in their thinking manifested in their rapid walking!

You can thank Betty later for this great gift.

Tomorrow: Questions for you to ponder!


Brian said...

1. It's actually 31536000 for a normal year, and 31622400 for a leap year. On average, it's 31556736, not 31557600, since there's no leap day for years ending in '00.'

2. Don't you mean square centimeters?

3. Isn't rapid blinking a sign of lying?

4. Isn't it mayflies that live 24 hours? Dragonflies live longer, I think.

5. I'm writing this from my office as an alternative to rocking back and forth and eating my own skin (it's been that kind of day).

Anonymous said...

i blinked when i read women blink more than men i sleep on my right side, fascinating about pecans, i think i am going to make a peach and almond cobbler.

Trevor said...

Some corrections from the editorial board.

"A dragonfly has a lifespan of just twenty-four hours."

The Adult Dragonfly Stage

Once the nymph is fully grown, and the weather is right, it will complete the metamorphosis into a dragonfly by crawling out of the water up the stem of a plant. The nymph will shed its skin onto the stem of the plant and will then be a young dragonfly. The skin that the nymph left behind is called the exuvia and you can find the exuvia still stuck to the stem for a long time after the dragonfly has left it.

Once the dragonfly leaves the exuvia it is a full grown dragonfly. The dragonfly will hunt for food and begin to look for a mate. Once the dragonfly finds a mate, the female will find a body of calm water that will be a good place to lay her eggs, and the life cycle of the dragonfly begins all over again. Adult dragonflies only live about two months.Source:

"Almonds are a member of the peach family"

"True, but a slight misnomer- Almonds and peaches are in the same family, but it's Rosacea, which contains many different types of plants, including those which the name implies, roses. Maybe this statement was meant to imply that almonds and peaches are even more closely related than the family level, actually being in the same subgenus, amygdalus, and that when we eat almonds, the structure we're eating is analogous to the pit of a peach."


Bossy Betty said...

Brian (or is that BRAIN???)

1. The way you use numbers is just plain scary.

2. You are correct. I have rectified the situation.

3. Maybe. Maybe not.

4. Apparently (see Lurking Lurker's comment) you are correct.

5. Hope today was a better day!


Bossy Betty said...

PG--I am going to come and watch you sleep. I'l bet you use your left side too.


Bossy Betty said...

Lurking Lurker,

Being Popular is important. Sometimes people who correct others are not popular.

Do you have a source to contradict this as well? Well, do you?

Actually, I am shocked that my source is incorrect and am grateful to have people like you out there to help guide me in the correct way. You must have been raised by some fine, upstanding people.


Trevor said...

You know I was!