Saturday, April 4, 2009

A Now a Word From Our Sponsors

Before our final installment of "Theme Week: Woman Songs," we pause for these fine commercials.

Do you remember this one?  Did it influence your decision to continue your education?  Manage your meat consumption?  Renew your commitment to Alzheimer's research so that the constant reminding of your mate's gender would not be necessary?

This next commercial stuck in people's heads like a rat's paws on a sticky trap.  Why?  What was Charlie's allure?  Was it her strange attention-seeking Gatsby-like car?  The shiny jumpsuit and mock hardhat?  Why was she unable to write more than her first name?  Why was it she could not focus on the lines on the paper and had to scrawl that name on the sign-in sheet at an angle?  In retrospect, should Charlie have been tested for a learning disability?  Tested for drugs?  You decide.

Please compare and contrast the following commercial to Glen Campbell's "Everyday Housewife" ballad and then ask yourself if the smell of Aviance can really cover up the smells of fried chicken and household cleansers?  Could it be that those very smells actually entice the men who are in love with their "Everyday Housewives"?  Would she be better off with a shot of 409 or Glass Plus wafting from her decolletage?  Perhaps a freshly fried chicken leg placed inside the cleavage would produce that much needed "Aviance Night."  (By the way, who IS that guy at the door?)

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