Sunday, March 8, 2009

Tennis (Outfits) Anyone?

Personally, I do not engage in sports that involve a ball coming at me.  I find it a little unnerving, having an object hurled towards my person, the goal of whatever "game" it is to pierce my personal space bubble and where (in most instances) my inability to stop said ball would be to the delight of the person throwing it.  

As you might imagine, this limits my engagement in sports.  The one exception I can make, if I must, is bowling, where the ball does, at some point come towards you, but its "flight" towards one is decently hidden and then the ball is dramatically slowed upon its arrival in your vicinity.  When it is finally plunked out, it is calm and serene as it lolls about, hanging out with the other balls, all comfortable and accepting of their heft and weight. They bring to mind family Thanksgivings where my rather large aunts would all sit together and relax after cooking the big meal. 

However, because of this "no-sport-where-the-ball-is-coming-towards-me" rule, other sports--basketball, football, soccer, racquetball--are all out, as is golf.  (Even though the object in golf is not to place the ball anywhere near your opponent's body, I have seen it happen with disastrous results and there are just too many variables that can happen with that small, hard little ball hit with the oh-so-sleek in appearance, but oh-so-harsh sounding "club.")

However, I do not object too vigorously to viewing some of these sporting contests and did so yesterday.  I went with Friend K to see Friend M play in a tennis tournament.  It was a friendly game and the court was at a club, surrounded by gorgeous views.  I was very impressed by Friend M's moves on the court and, may I say, she also had the cutest tennis outfit of all four gals.  I like the paraphernalia that comes with the sport--the cool racquet that can be slung over the shoulder, the bright, cheerful yellow balls, the clean white shoes and the very stylish tennis skirt.  

Now, the visor I wore yesterday did not cover the top of my head so that the sun beat down, microwave-like, upon the brain bowl of uncooked kernels of thought, which expanded and bloomed throughout the match.   In particular, I found myself fixated on the tennis apparel yesterday.  It was so cute and these women on the court had so much energy.  Could it be that this was due partially to these kicky little outfits they were wearing?  Could one actually be sluggish in this gear?

Now, I KNOW this clothing is sold for the exclusive use of tennis players, but would it be so wrong if other, say, non-tennis playing persons wore them, you know, just around the house and maybe to the grocery store?  I mean, if an incoming-ball-phobic, non-sporty person who just happens to have great legs were to slip one of these outfits on and walk around in public, well, would it be so bad?  What if she just hung around the courts and occasionally stood at the net, striking the pose of our model at the top of this post?

Would it be considered impersonation or, rather, fashion-forward?  If it were considered impersonation by some purists, well, it's not as if this person is impersonating a police officer, nuclear scientist, or even a dentist--professions non-professionals should probably not dabble in, at least very often or for too long.  Don't we see short chubby children walking around in Laker's jerseys?  Is that so different than a non-tennis playing person donning a tennis outfit?  What if it could be determined that the wearing of tennis gear improved a person's energy, abilities, mood and social likability? Wouldn't we then advocate the wearing of such clothing for anyone needing to improve any of these areas in his/her life? 

Friend M and her partner won their match and will go back today to play another game. However, Betty will not be going back.  Tennis is an exhausting game!  There were just too many kernels popping in the brain bowl there under the hot sun.  This was your small serving.  Now, Betty has to digest the rest, perhaps while shopping at Sports Chalet....


Happy Homemaker said...

I say buy yourself the little tennis outfit and wear it around town, and see, if your energy level increases. You must do it for the advancement of the study of human psychology. We are counting on you, Betty, to report back to us with your results. We are anxiously waiting...

Bossy Betty said...

Let's get matching ones and do it together!