Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Bossy Betty Creates Her Dream Team

Let's face it:  It's not easy being the Man in Betty's life.  No one man can handle it all.  Though Husband of Betty tries, he'd be the first to admit that even he needs a little back-up from time to time.  That's why I have assembled my stable of men here to step in when it all gets to be too much.  I hereby present Betty's Dream Team:

Nick Arrojo.  He's the hairdresser on "What Not to Wear."  I mean just look at that picture of us together and the way he is looking at me!  OK, OK, it's not me, but if this man came to my door and asked if he could shave my head, I would say, "Yes, Nick. Yes."  Don't tell my current hairdresser, Zeke, but I watch Nick and lust after his hairdressing skills/personality/accent.  "Give us a hug, Luv." Yes, Nick.  Yes.

Cesar Milan:  The Dog Whisperer.  There's something more than a little sexy in a caveman/Sharper Image sort of way about a man who puts on funky skates and takes his Pack O' Dogs out for a spin. Besides that, any man who willingly walks into the living room of a "Red Zone" dog and thrives on it can handle Betty after a bad day of wraslin' with the copier at work or when my curling iron has gone on the fritz.

Patrick Fitzgerald:  Bringing justice to all and going after the bad guys.  Betty likes this in a man.  I say he should devote himself to getting rid of ALL governors committing Hair Crimes.  Go get 'em Patrick and could you pick up some vanilla soy milk on the way home?  Thanks, hon.

EVERY gal needs a Jim Halpert to come by her office/cubicle at work and hang out.  This is essential for good mental health.  It's the only reason some women go to work. Men could learn A LOT by watching Jim interact with Pam on The Office.

That's right--the Jolly Green Giant.  Come on, ladies, admit it.  There's just something about him.... The tag line under "I Stand for Goodness" is (In fact, I Haven't Sat Down Since 1925!)  I love that work ethic in a man.  It's hard not to think about the Jolly Green Giant in a dreamy way when your own man is sitting in his Lazy Boy flipping through channels by the hour.  JGG is out there in the valley all day, watching, supervising, bringing in the vegetables, and unafraid to embrace his feminine side in his green leafy dress-like outfit.   Yummy!

OHHHHHHHHHHH.......This is my all-time dream man and HOB knows it.  If we lived in England, I fear I might just stalk him.  It's James Dyson from the Dyson vacuum commercials.  And when he says, "I just think things should work properly" Betty melts into a puddle on the floor.  OHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  I envision him coming in to the room as I am attempting to use a faulty or difficult appliance (any appliance!) and gently taking my hands away from the problem and saying "I just think things should work properly."  He'd take that problem away--even a refrigerator!  I can see him just lifting it over his shoulder, taking it out to the his workshop and returning it, fully repaired, 30 minutes later--problem solved.  "I just think things should work properly," he'd say over his shoulder as he went back to his workshop to draw up plans for his next breakthrough in vacuuming technology.  OHHHHHHHHHHHH.  


Trevor said...

Next you need to put up HOBs dream team and why you don't think they are the right fit.

Bossy Betty said...

Hello? Why would you think HOB would have a Dream Team? Don't you think his eyes and mind are continually pasted on Betty?

Susan said...

I totally agree with the Jim Halpert pick-- He is totally dreamy! LOVE HIM!

Bossy Betty said...

OH YES! I agree!

Anonymous said...

Umm, I'm still rooting for Snoopy! And Cary Grant. We can have Cary Grant film fest and you will see the world a little differently.

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