Monday, November 3, 2008

It Can; We Will

It had not seemed so tall, so shiny nor quite so intimidating in the Big Box Store and yet as we slid it from its box and placed it in our kitchen, it seemed elevate even further toward the kitchen lights. It was the Sears Tower of trash cans.

We had traded in our short, happy plastic choo-choo of a trash can that fit under the sink for this sleek high speed train of the trash world. Its wide mouth stretched across the top and I immediately thought I felt a vacuum in the room that seemed to emanate from the silver silo. I looked at it suspiciously and left the room as Dan placed the trash bag down in the cylinder. When I came back in the kitchen, I gasped. He had not yet replaced the top ring of the can and the red drawstring on the plastic bag outlined the mouth perfectly, the red lips pursing up. It did not have to speak. I knew what it wanted. It was feedin' time.

Well, it WAS time to clean out the refrigerator I thought and I do have to admit there was something satisfying about just transferring all that old food right into that big trash can. I didn't have to make 48 trips out to the trash barrel and it may have been my imagination, but it seemed truly happy when I made the decision to throw an entire head of cauliflower in there. (At least I think I made the decision. I really don't remember it. I just remember holding the cauliflower and then it was gone.)

In the days after we bought it I found myself both drawn to its shiny surface and repelled by its insatiable appetite. I knew had to get a grip before I started throwing my cell phone and wallet in it. Soon we had reached a truce. I agreed to feed it regularly and it agreed to stay away from the pets. It is the volcano in the village and we villagers keep it happy with our sacrifices of old spaghetti and egg shells. If we must fetch food home from fast food establishments and feed it the paper wrappers, then that is what we must do. We understand our role here. We must keep it happy. We must.


Susan said...

I want one! Where did you get it?

Bossy Betty said...

Get yourself to Costco, honey!