Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Bossy Betty Gets Dirty or "A is for Agronomy"


OH BOY! Fans of Bossy Betty know just what the sight of the Lizard means! It's time to Sing-Along With Betty! "But wait!" you say. "Wait one darn, minute, Betty. This week is dedicated to learning, so what's with the singing?" Well, who better to greet you and introduce you to the subject of soil than the Collared Lizard who lives intimately on this substance that most of us merely regard as "dirt"? (And don't worry,the singing comes later!)

Land. Terra Firma. Soil. Dirt. Earth. Eluvium. Take away H2O and you've got dust. Add H2O and you've got mud. "Land is the only thing in the world that amounts to anything, for it's the only thing in this world that lasts. It's the only thing worth working for, worth fighting for...." (Quiz Number 1: Please name the source of this quote.)

And so today we examine this substance by listing some of the soils that have the honored position of becoming "State Soils." Betty believes that you should always know the State Soil of anywhere you live, or even visit. With that in mind, I have done a quick scan of my regular viewing public and have listed the state soils of my readers. Please memorize your state soil so that you can drop it into conversation at work or at school. You will honor the sacred land upon which we live AND impress the pants off those around you.

Please note Betty's invaluable comments following the name of the State Soil.

California--San Joaquin--Surprisingly NOT named after movie star Joaquin Phoenix, but should be. I'll call Arnold.

Oklahoma--Port Silt Loam--Not connected with wine in any way, but some say the state looks a whole lot better after a couple of glasses of Port.

Maryland--Sassafras--La-Ti-Da! Small State Syndrome at work here.

Florida--Myakka--Is that mucous I feel welling up in my throat after I say this one? Floridians, any way of changing this? Work on it and get back to me. From what I understand it's really just a sand and not a soil anyway--a clear case of false advertising.

Texas--Houston Black--Does NOT make good tea. Trust me on this. Menacing sounding name, too. This bothers Betty.

Missouri--Menfro-Missouri's feeble attempt to honor hairstyle of African American men of the 70's

Colorado--Seitz--Is it a soil or the name of a furniture manufacturer? I expected more. You can't depend on the flash of all those mountains forever. Let's show a little substance too.

Tennessee--Proposed State Soil--Soils of the Dickson Series--What's with all the foot-dragging, Tennessee? Could there be a contingent of anti-soil people in Tennessee? What's that all about? It's simple: choose a soil or get out of the union.

Kansas--Harney Silt Loam--I like this name. It connotes stability. The three word name speaks of stability. Sounds like the name of a kindly grandfather. Betty feels like singing about this one.

Please Sing-Along with Betty as we pay tribute to the Kansas State Soil with the following song, sung to the tune of "Home on the Range." I memorized this rendition years ago specifically for this occasion. Let's hear it now, people!

Oh, give me a home
On the Harney Silt Loam
And I'll fill it with acres of wheat
This soil is the tops
for producing our crops
so our nation has plenty to eat.

Loam, Loam on the Plain
And Harney Silt Loam is its name.
This soil is the key to our economy
and gives Kansas its reason for fame.


That was good! OK, so here is Quiz Number Two:

Please name six agricultural products that start with the letter A that California produces more of than any other state. (Hint: Apple is not on the list.)

Remember, competitive ones, sometimes you must hit the "Post Comment" Button twice for it to register your answer.

Doesn't Learning Feel Good?

Until tomorrow,
Betty

4 comments:

Susan said...

Quiz#1 Gone with the wind
Quiz #2 Almonds, Avacados, Asperagus, Alfalfa, apricots, artichokes

Bossy Betty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bossy Betty said...

You are the winner! Yeah, Susan! Your prize?? A dinner with me! Where will you take me? What will you buy me?

peripatetic girl said...

I know too! I tried to post yesterday or the day before ad it didn't let me!
#1 Gone With the Wind -- Ashley WIlkes tells this to Scarlett and she eventually learns it towards the end. There, character names and al!
#2 alfalfa, apricots, artichokes, asparagus, almonds, avocados

Do I get a conciliatory prize?